Home » Celebutainment, Spot Blowing, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling

The John Gallery

22 June 2007 No Comment

Eddie Murphy, you ARE the father… like we didn’t already know.

What celebrity accuses another of being the father of her child when she’s not sure? Especially when, in spite of her short-lived TRUE celebrity, Scary Spice could afford two male nannies for the kid and completely eliminate the need for his goofy-laughing self. As annoyed as I am that he questioned whether or not he fathered this baby, that wasn’t his truest faux pas – don’t think we forgot about that prostitute incident. So I figured I’d remind you all of other celebs who can’t help but pay for it.

In 1997 Eddie picked up a transvestite hooker named “Shalomar” at the witching hour someplace in West Hollywood. After being stopped by the LAPD, who quickly hauled Shalomar off to jail, Eddie claimed “I’ve seen hookers on corners… and I’ll pull over… and they’ll go, Oh you’re Eddie Murphy, oh my God, and I’ll empty my wallet out to help.” Yeah, Eddie, that’s a really worthy celebrity cause. Silly Bono concerned with AIDS and poverty in Africa…he should be helping out those trannie hoes instead.

In 1999, Tevin Campbell, who has clearly fallen apart, pleaded no contest to soliciting prostitution from an undercover officer. A male officer at that. He finally admitted that he was gay in 2002, which is kind of pointless after pleading “no contest” to trying to buy a male whore.

In 1995 Hugh Grant’s adorable British self got caught soliciting a prostitute also. A BLACK prostitute. Named Divine Brown. And she was pretty busted. In the spirit of afrophilia we kind of forgive him, though.

Boy George has had his problems but did he really have to handcuff and prepare to whip a Norwegian male prostitute who totally wasn’t down for all of that, even at $800 for the night? I’m pretty sure I know what Thembi would do there…

Mason Betha? Just last month a woman claimed that she was involved in a minor car accident with him because he was busy trying to pick up some male yum-yum. She said “the shims, they’re running up to the car saying ‘girl, girl we seen what happened we seen everything’ it’s like five or six of them because they working so they run up to the car saying ‘girl are you ok he’s been circling around here girl like four times already tryin to pick one of these queens up’.” For those in the dark, she+him = shim. Mase please hold off on your next comeback and go back to church.

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