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Survivor Marcus Garvey Island Edition: Bobby Brown

17 July 2007 7 Comments

Just talking trash about people isn’t always enough. The brilliant Aaliyah “Oxygen Chest” Williams gave me the idea: What we really need to do is separate ourselves from the rest of America and expel from the island any black person who is not living up to the ideals of the race immediately. Key in this failure is that this person is wack, has been on the downhill for some time, and MUST somehow directly embarrass black folks with his or her behavior. You can all act as tribal council if you like and let me know if you agree (which I know you will). First up and long overdue:

Bobby Brown is such a continued embarrassment. This is him sleeping on Supahead’s couch, broke and shiftless Negro style. As you may know he has had many child support issues, which is really just trife.

Nasty! Who says such things?

Remember their trip to Israel? These sorts of outfits are the reason I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.
And then also, by the way, he’s a crackhead who talks out of one side of his mouth, a personal pet peeve of mine. This is his new smoking buddy. They are barely succeeding in propping each other up.

Some things that have come out of his crooked mouth:

The Embarrassing: “My father said ‘If somebody hits you, then you hit them back harder.’ That’s the nature of the black family”

The Loony: “Osama bin Laden wanted me dead. He was in love with Whitney. He wanted to make her one of his wives. I feared for my life. I’m still on my guard. The most wanted man in the world wants you dead.”

The Delusional: Wendy Williams: Do you go to church?
Bobby: I am a church.

The Triflin’:”I’m a true American. I’ve been to jail before, that’s American!”

The tribe has spoken.

7 Comments »

  • Dara said:

    OMG i can barely contain my laughter!!! the saddest part about the nasty impregnation comment is that neither of them realizes that theyre probably BOTH infertile from suckin the crack pipe TOO hard for the past decade…wow.

  • Aida said:

    wait, was the osama bin laden comment said in earnest?

    also, i agree, but with a heavy heart. a part of me still clings to “the truth about roni she’s a sweet old girl, about the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world, she makes the toughest homeboy fall deep in love…”

  • Julian said:

    This idea is right on time. I don’t watch Survivor, but I raise my tribal staff or whatever in favor of his expulsion. Can my tribal staff have a picture of Esther Rolle on the end tho?

  • Nancy said:

    you didn’t have the second part of the impregnation comment! she replied, “Bobby, you’ve been impregnatin’ me over the last week.”

    and what about his husbandly duties of dookie pullin’!

  • Kelly said:

    I think I’ll toss Nicole Richie’s name in the basket for the next cast off. Being a poor-man’s Paris Hilton is not the way to go. Although getting preggers and possibly delivering in jail upped the ante. But wait, didn’t we trade her to the Whites in the Race Draft?

  • Invisible Woman said:

    Hilarious Julian and Kelly…

  • Dallas said:

    *dies*

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