Survivor Marcus Garvey Island Edition: Bobby Brown
Just talking trash about people isn’t always enough. The brilliant Aaliyah “Oxygen Chest” Williams gave me the idea: What we really need to do is separate ourselves from the rest of America and expel from the island any black person who is not living up to the ideals of the race immediately. Key in this failure is that this person is wack, has been on the downhill for some time, and MUST somehow directly embarrass black folks with his or her behavior. You can all act as tribal council if you like and let me know if you agree (which I know you will). First up and long overdue:
Bobby Brown is such a continued embarrassment. This is him sleeping on Supahead’s couch, broke and shiftless Negro style. As you may know he has had many child support issues, which is really just trife.
Remember their trip to Israel? These sorts of outfits are the reason I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.
And then also, by the way, he’s a crackhead who talks out of one side of his mouth, a personal pet peeve of mine. This is his new smoking buddy. They are barely succeeding in propping each other up.
Some things that have come out of his crooked mouth:
The Embarrassing: “My father said ‘If somebody hits you, then you hit them back harder.’ That’s the nature of the black family”
The Loony: “Osama bin Laden wanted me dead. He was in love with Whitney. He wanted to make her one of his wives. I feared for my life. I’m still on my guard. The most wanted man in the world wants you dead.”
The Delusional: Wendy Williams: Do you go to church?
Bobby: I am a church.
The Triflin’:”I’m a true American. I’ve been to jail before, that’s American!”
The tribe has spoken.