“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Jet Brothers Swimsuit Calendar
A friend and I have a long-running private joke involving her giving me the Jet Brothers Swimsuit calendar every year. The men in the calendar are hilariously disturbing enough that I plan to post a few of them in the future, in fact I wouldn’t deprive you of it! But the corniness of the calendar itself, as one would expect from Jet magazine and, furthermore, from anything that uses the word ‘brother’ in its title, is unsurpassed. In spite of its inclusion of uselessly black ‘holidays’ such as the date when Ebony Magazine was founded, calendars are useful things (as are bare-chested men), so I keep the calendar on my wall. At the end of July I glanced at it to get the date to write a check. Because Johnson Publishing likes its paper so shiny the pic is blurry so you have to double-click to view it full size. But can you tell me what’s wrong with this picture?
Besides the fact that the font of choice is Arial, check out the days of the month. Let’s see…Thirty days hath September, April June, and November…so WHY am I looking at a calendar where July only has 30 days!? You think that I’m nit-picking? After checking the rest of the calendar I found this (again, view fullsize because of sexy shiny Jetmag paper):
Ignore that mulatto Harlem renaissance-esque bisexual swimsuit hunk in the lower right-hand corner and focus on the technical aspects. What in the name of George Washington Carver would make anyone, especially the editors of a black calendar, think that ANY month besides February had 28 days?!?! See, y’all, this is why we don’t have nothin’.