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“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Jet Brothers Swimsuit Calendar

22 August 2007 8 Comments

jet_calend
A friend and I have a long-running private joke involving her giving me the Jet Brothers Swimsuit calendar every year. The men in the calendar are hilariously disturbing enough that I plan to post a few of them in the future, in fact I wouldn’t deprive you of it! But the corniness of the calendar itself, as one would expect from Jet magazine and, furthermore, from anything that uses the word ‘brother’ in its title, is unsurpassed. In spite of its inclusion of uselessly black ‘holidays’ such as the date when Ebony Magazine was founded, calendars are useful things (as are bare-chested men), so I keep the calendar on my wall. At the end of July I glanced at it to get the date to write a check. Because Johnson Publishing likes its paper so shiny the pic is blurry so you have to double-click to view it full size. But can you tell me what’s wrong with this picture?

wtfweds82207

Besides the fact that the font of choice is Arial, check out the days of the month. Let’s see…Thirty days hath September, April June, and November…so WHY am I looking at a calendar where July only has 30 days!? You think that I’m nit-picking? After checking the rest of the calendar I found this (again, view fullsize because of sexy shiny Jetmag paper):

jetjune

Ignore that mulatto Harlem renaissance-esque bisexual swimsuit hunk in the lower right-hand corner and focus on the technical aspects. What in the name of George Washington Carver would make anyone, especially the editors of a black calendar, think that ANY month besides February had 28 days?!?! See, y’all, this is why we don’t have nothin’.

8 Comments »

  • Invisible Woman said:

    Sorry, even with the 28 days in June, my full attention is on that hunka burning zesty flesh on the bottom…LOVE your description…

  • shelby said:

    I think June had 28 days in 2004.

  • Blogxilla said:

    Brothers need to stick to together…

  • natural muze said:

    lol…you are too silly for that description of him. lol.

    and man, what is wrong with your people? geesh!

  • Julian said:

    he’s searching through time, looking for langston…

  • Thembi said:

    I love how they pull out the urgent on-pointness only to plaster “Sold Out” across the Jet Beauty Calendar in the advertisement, as if they simply cannot meet the high demand and need us to stop flooding their office with orders.

  • Izzy said:

    I think Jet magazine is smart cuz they brown folk and i include my pecan puerto rican folk in there too, will naturally just assume their own personal holiday for that summer thursday bbq on the stoop and travel deals mid week to san juan

  • Nancy said:

    BAAHAHAHAHA this is why we can’t pay our rent on time, cuz we gots our dates wrong! Perhaps this is a new “afro-american” calender, where the last few days in June are considered the white devil’s days, so they must be erased from the memory of our young brothers and sisters….

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