Home » Hip Hop Is Dead., Random Nostalgia, White People Dancing, White People Is Funny.

Poll: Teen Witch and the Current State of Hip-Hop

25 September 2007 15 Comments

I know I’ve been kind of hard on Hip-Hop lately but according to Fruity Pebbles vs Hip-Hop, 95% of you refuse to consider Barney Rubble on the mic a disgrace. Poor Pras.

I wouldn’t want to leave our female MC’s out of this so I dug up one of my favorite mainstream hip-hop efforts. You have to be a real weirdo to remember the 1989 movie Teen Witch, but since I am a weirdo, here is my favorite scene where the girl with the magic powers gives her friend the power of hot fiyyaah to get all crunk in her crush’s face.

Again, I look to my readers for answers:


  • Julian said:

    I officially cannot stand you, Thembi.

    But, alas… At least Missy Elliot quality. She snatched off that Blossom hat and gave ole boy the business.

    And re: old boy — in the denim cuffed manpris– it’s always fun to see white people’s interpretations of how we act. Like, that’s really what his brain processed when he watched Yo! MTV Raps. No wonder they always want to lock us up.

    This is amazing. “Top that!”

  • Aaliyah said:

    you just gave me so much LIFE. the oxygen chest is full. THANK YOU.

  • Nancy said:

    OMGz, OMGz, my brain just exploded with fruity pebble goodness. that movie…that nose, that boy…Thembi, I fear that you may never be able to TOP THAT!

    just think if she and barney had kids…

  • Ninjagirrl said:

    I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER SAW THIS!!! This is the worst and the best part of this movie. TOP THAT!!! LMAO!!! *dying at everyone saying top that*
    Maybe Barney Rubble will let her be the opening act when he goes on tour….

    My daughter(Ninja Jr.) and I had a discussion on HipHop the other day and she said she rarely understands a word anyone is saying…she told me the kids are to busy cranking soldier boys, or rocking they hips, or crap like that to pay too much attention to the lyrics…..

    *squeezes eyes shut like Hiro from Heroes in an effort to go back to about….1992*

    damn it didn’t work

  • justjudith said:

    mmkay, that was horrible. and as cheesy as it was, i voted for missy elliott. she makes hot beats but her rhymes were on par with that girl’s. top that! and that guy…wow. those dance moves, ill-advised cuffed pants — tragic.

  • Ninjagirrl said:

    btw, I really and truly believe that Missy Elliot could take this song/rap (?) and make it a hit. The youth are not too picky about lyrics, and LAWD knows if a dance was added to it,call it the Top-That Shimmy, you’d have a hit!!!

  • Ehav Ever said:

    I actually cringed watching that and it almost hurt to watch the rap part. This must be what it feels like to have the grim reaper coming for you.

    I used to live in a predominately white neighborhood in Kansas City for a few years and I don’t remember white kids with a suburb blaster, dancing, and fake rapping in the street. In fact I don’t remember any white kids in the street at all.

    It is interesting that they are talking like they know men and they are only teens. Notice the guy in the suspenders. This is like the Breakfast Club and Beat Street meets the Twilight Zone. If I ever saw some white people rapping and dancing like that in the streets I would move. To quote the two brothers from Better off Dead, Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that.

    Now let’s see about those lyrics. hmmmm.

    So I’m king and they know it. When I snap my fingers everybody says show it. I’m hot and your not, but if you want to hang with me I’ll give it one shot. So top that.

  • Q said:

    And you didn’t so much as touch the dancing situation!

  • AJ said:

    painful girl, painful…the end was worth the wait – i guess…lol

  • Sara said:

    at last! this may be the “rosetta stone” that contemporary hiphop scholars have been searching for. here, in the words “i’m hot and you’re not”, we find the literary roots of the contemporary mims lyrics! eureka!

    however, let it be noted that mims does not merely repeat the words of his cuffed-pants predecessor, but brings those lyrics into the 21st century with the evolutionary (some might say revolutionary!) addition of two tautological “definitions”: “I’m hot cuz I’m fly” and its brilliant inverse, “you ain’t cuz you’re not”.

    this is why, this is why, this is why I’m hot, indeed.

  • shelbyinitalia said:

    this post made me SO happy. this is one of my favorite movies EVER

  • Jippy said:

    I was having a shitty day until I saw this post.

  • Gigi said:

    OMG I used to love this movie and why do I once again remember all the words to the rap…(Just like the Flintstone’s Fruity Pebbles commercial)!

  • Tayo said:

    “Go talk to him”
    “No, I’d be so embarrassed. Look at how funky he is.

    And the mini “Beat It” dance-off?

    That was so fresh. Word!


    I loveddddddddddd this movie I am such a fan of corny teenage angst movies.

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