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Random Friendster Message: July 2005

13 September 2007 6 Comments


Subject: you are avery beautiful and lovely lady.
Message:

hello .

how are you doing hope fine if so glory be to God who has made me a member of this site where i have found you to be the only beautifull lady that has cought my fancy because i can see in you that you are outgoing and straight forward in what you are doing, well my name is kingsley nigeria working and living in ghana accra west africa. i will like us to be friends and from there take it to anothe r level if you so desire because i will say that you are my choise and i will do any thing in my power to have you as a wife in future(future can be tomorrow) . well i will like to go now especting your nice and lovely response, please when replying add your email add so that i send to you my little urgly picture cos i am fat a little bit but i dont think it will affect our lovelife cos i got the main one from GOD himself.

talk to you later.

its me
kingsley.

***********
It’s me!?!?!?
For a split second I was going to give this guy an ESL pass on his spelling but then I realized that they speak English in Nigeria. Do they have real cameras there, though? It’s not supposed to be sepia-toned yet it looks like it was taken with one of those Old West cameras during the War For Independence. Either that or with a Polaroid camera in a duststorm. Can someone please tell me why Nigerians always bring God and marriage into it with me? Something tells me the lord is not monitoring Friendster to hook you up, Kingsley.

6 Comments »

  • Nancy said:

    i wonder if that’s the same photo he uses when he sends out phishing emails regarding his $1,000,000,000,000 bank deal that just requires an american citizen with a kind heart and a $10,000 escrow because his father died leaving him an orphan with no way to get the money and he will split it with you once he gets access to it with your $10K….after all, why would he try to steal your money? he doesn’t need it…that’s a beamer in the bkground!

  • Izzy said:

    Picking up on Nancy’s insightful advice let me tell you a story, actually this is more current events because it happened last month. A lovely Australian farmer wanted to find love in wallabies country and thought going online would be the thing, because surely there’s wi-fi in the outback and hot Australians in bikinis are at the beach looking for hookups online. ANYWAY, so the man feels adventurous and falls in love with a profile from West Africa. The two cyber date for weeks, he sends “her” money — SHOCKER — and finally “she” invites him to her homeland to get married and meet her family. Well when said Dingo lands in said country a nicely dressed African, also with a beamer in the back, picks him up for what he thinks is a chauffeured escort to his Nubian princess. Shortly the man finds himself in a cell with 2 crazy Africans wielding machetes in his face in an attempt to extort money from this same FARMER from wallabies country. Long story shorter his much more sane countrymen tapped into his email and tracked him to Africa where they saved him days later. So my lesson is if anyone receives an email from a man who looks like the Nigerian R.Kelly step away from the computer and run to the nearest bar to drink your thoughts away of even considering writing him back!

  • Aida said:

    um: who told him that telling people you’re fat and ugly but it won’t interfere with your love life = game?

  • The Randomness said:

    Just wow…idiot. Yeah u urgly not ugly coz god (a greek one) knows u r!

  • afro jamaicano said:

    i cant believe men send u messages like that!! omfg how crazy! maybe he wanted u as part of his herom (sp) of women

  • Q said:

    I
    Want
    To
    Die

    God, Sepia tone photograph, e-marriage propoposal

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