Home » Reader Submissions

Reader Submission

13 September 2007 6 Comments

I was in line behind this dude with do-rag in corner store and his lady had on these white stretch jeans and house slippers! Here’s the craziness they were talking about:

Woman to Man: “That’s because you ain’t give me my money on time, and if you’d give me my money on time I’d get the medicine.”

Man to Woman : “Then take this $20, go to Rite Aid and get it, but I’m not payin’ for them cigarettes”

Woman to Me as she walks out the door: “You see that? A nigga gives you the crabs and still stays all up on you and won’t even get you the medicine and some Newports. Ain’t that some ol’ mess?”

What Would Thembi Do?

–Submitted by a ‘Coononymous’ Source.

Some ol’ mess, indeed! First of all, people who at first glance seem to be fully-functional but poorly dressed and then by speaking reveal that they’re crazy are what I call the “quasi-crazy.” In the same sense that most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, most assaults by crazy people are in fact committed the quasi-crazy. This is because they sneak up on you in situations like this, and draw you into their world without warning. Therefore, Thembi would NEVER make eye contact with this woman. My favorite defenses include pretending I only speak French or that I am deaf.

That said, this woman clearly has some self-esteem issues. I’ve never had “the crabs” before, but if I did I would not continue involvement with the man who gave them to me, ESPECIALLY if I have to ask him twice for money to kill those buggers! As far as he is concerned, how are you gonna give someone “the crabs” and then be “all up on them”? Is he performing some sort of science experiment? This conversation really could have been held privately. By the way, can we please stop with the Newports as a people?


  • Nancy said:

    ew. pubic lice is not a joke. sadly, they probably don’t even realize that if SHE has ’em, then HE has ’em. so does their entire bed, all their clothes, and probably the sofa in the tv room that she lets her labias swing on. that $20 on medicine, if nothing else is being done, may as well be spent on the ‘ports, especially if he’s still up on it…maybe she could burn a couple off with the lit end…

  • hottnikz said:

    It’s 2007 and people are still catching crabs? I haven’t heard of that happening since the 80’s…and even then it was only something you heard, not a real live person in front of you telling you they have it that very moment. I would have avoided eye contact too, out of embarrassment.

  • Dara said:

    this lovely display of real life STI-ness brings to mind a short story. id like to share:

    once a few years ago, i was sitting around with a bunch of nobodies, smoking herb and debating the world. the token russian chick with bad hygiene asks the stylish dreadlocked black man if she can try on his hat. he says, “no, i dont let people wear my hats.” someone else in the circle says, “come on man, its not like she has HERPES or something.” and she chimes in and says, “actually YES I DO. I HAVE HERPES!!! so what??? let me see your hat!”

    dead silence.

    how dare people be so proud?

  • Luscious Librarian said:

    What the hell? Why did she think YOU would understand where she was coming from?

  • Nancy said:

    speaking of the herpes….here is something really funny. i love judge judy


  • The Randomness said:

    lol…that’s it …you are too funny!

So what do you think? Please be respectful to other readers!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.