Throwback Random Friendster Message: December 2003

Thembi Ford 27 September 2007 8 Comments

Date: Sunday, December 28, 2003 5:47 PM
Subject: Bonjor Madame
Message:

TU vas beau l’oeil. You have beautiful eyes to match your beautiful welcoming smile. I hope your having a great day. I hope your day get’s even better when I give you this gift. Are you ready? Close your eyes. I placed a beautiful white rose in your hair. Yes that was very forward, but that is me. After reading your profile, I can see that we do have some things in common. But before I go on, I would like to know if you want me to proceed to write to you.

Unfortunately, I’ve been taking French since I was 12, and I happen to know that “Tu vas beau l’oeil” makes no sense, and at best means “You go beautiful the eye.” Corny Corny CORNY. Trying to impress me with butchered French is like that dude who tries to impress you by taking you out for sushi on the first date, as if that’s the most exotic and daring thing ever. The poor English grammar and spelling is pretty standard for these messages so I’ll leave that alone. Worst of all, why this picture? Seriously, I need answers as to why I am getting random messages from a Sisqo wanna-be.

What’s even more interesting is that I went back to this guy’s profile to get his photo, and it seems like he’s had a change of strategy:

Who I Want to Meet:
Helloi will be honest to say that am loooking for marriage, that is just what am looking for here cas am very much interested in a white lady but in my country u cannot find whites and that why i join thsi site cas it easy to be intought with any. please i real need a nice and understand whiet lady to make me a wife as my life partner, please i dont care about age so please feel free and what i care is love from our heart.thank, u are welcome

Negro, please! I don’t know whether to feel insulted or fortunate. And how is it possible that his spelling got WORSE after 4 years?

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8 Comments »

shelbyinitalia said:

we’re all the same color in the dark you know

# 27 September 2007 at 11:41 am

Q said:

I
Caint (yes)
Breeve(Yes, like this)

who the fuck says this corny ass shit????:I hope your day get’s even better when I give you this gift. Are you ready? Close your eyes. I placed a beautiful white rose in your hair. Yes that was very forward, but that is me.

Negro please FORWARD would be having actual game and grammatic to go with it *smh* dude looking like Sisquo and Ne-yo brokedown cunty lovechild and shit

Please! (doesn’t it sort of make you feel bad when that kind of guy comes on to you, like: “Damn!?? is THIS what i’m pulling???”)

# 27 September 2007 at 10:41 pm

Thembi said:

Q, the twang of fear that maybe this IS my niche market when it comes to men is exactly why I have been saving these random messages for years now. I’m on some “Never Forget” type tragedy tip.
If you look at any posts labeled Dating on this blog its scary to think that maybe thats all me…

# 27 September 2007 at 11:04 pm

Invisible Woman said:

That picture is pure,100% comedy.

# 28 September 2007 at 3:26 am

Q said:

*sigh* keep your head up in the struggle, sister!

(goes to check and laugh, is never too early to laugh at the expense of others)

# 28 September 2007 at 7:59 am

Femigog said:

Okay, I was gonna try to comment for real but I cant stop laughing!

# 28 September 2007 at 10:54 am

Michelle M. said:

Actually, he looks like NEO to me. . .

# 10 October 2007 at 8:38 pm

Michelle M. said:

I’m sorry, I spelled his name wrong. I meant NE-YO. . .whatever. . .

# 10 October 2007 at 8:39 pm

So what do you think? Please be respectful to other readers!

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THROWBACK POST!!

Police Sketches of Black Dudes

By Thembi Ford on September 26, 2007

Police sketch artist drawings of black people are notoriously poor and rarely look like anyone in particular. I’m convinced that when asked to describe the suspect, witnesses just describe the last black male they saw, even if they last saw a black male on television. So I did a little Thembi-style experiment by going online and digging up dozens of sketches of black suspects to see just who the strong arm of the law is looking for.

Posted in Not Racist Cuz It's True., Our Shame, What the Eff?, Yipes! | 21 Responses

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