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"What The Eff?" Wednesday: Vulva Original

26 September 2007 13 Comments

I’m really into fragrances, so any headlines about new scents catch my eye. The word ‘vulva’ usually makes me do a double-take as well. The combination between the two…well…I can only say What the Eff? to that. “Vulva Original” and its extension scents “Vulva 18” (I think that means young coochie) and “Vulva Exotic” (I think that means ethnic coochie) were created by a German perfumery called Viva Eros. They promise to “Beguile the senses with the scent of a real vagina.” I’ve spent most of my life making sure I don’t smell like vajayjay when I leave the house and certainly wasn’t thinking about spending 20 euro (about $30) to smell like I don’t wash, but um…Ok

But then I read the directions: “The phial is shaken gently, only a tiny amount of the precious, organic substance is applied to the back of the hand… and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head . . .VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure. Breath in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odor of a beautiful woman.”

Oh…so its not a perfume? That means its for private male use? Hunh? I don’t under- Ohhhhhhhhh. NOW I get it *wink*.

I love how much they love the word “beguile” and I really need to know who was in charge of designing that logo.

Addendum: From Shelby:

Yeah, that pretty much sums up the situation.


  • Dare said:

    This is amazing. I am actually speechless…!

  • CapCity said:

    this is just another excuse NOT to wash! lol! I can hear it now: ewwww, ummmm, what is that smell, uh, scent? U ain’t heard of the New Vulva?

    knowing full well they just got up from doin’ the do & didn’t wash azz nor elbow! LOL!

  • Julian said:

    i think all women should go around referring to their “sensuous vaginas.”

    “Today I need to douche my sensuous vagina.”

  • Phil said:

    …I wonder if there is a market for a “Deez Nutz” body spray. I could definitely hook up a fresh logo for that one.

  • Thembi said:

    Julian: Good call. Better yet, I’m thinking of just calling it “my sensuous.” It’s way better than vajayjay.

    Phil: No. But I am curious about the proposed logo.

  • justjudith said:

    yuck. funny story though :)

  • AJ said:



    I actually saw this site and was blown away by the simple fact that there are grown men who want to go around sniffing the vigina scent all through out the day, shouldn’t these said men just seek counseling instead? And for the love of pete who’s vigina are they milking for this scent?

  • Dara said:

    maybe that weirdo dude with the blowup doll from a couple months past got a hold of this stuff and poured it ALL OVER his “lady” friend for his…um..personal use…? it would explain a few things.

  • Luscious Librarian said:

    Now if Rose Oil comes from roses does Vulva come from from real vaginas?

    Maybe I should call customer service and inquire. Lord knows I wouldn’t want to wear something that’s not authentic.

    That would be silly.

  • Nancy said:

    julian, don’t you know that douching is bad for our sensitive and sensual vulvas?

    oh, and another addition…the perfume actually in a sniff test – with gays.

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