"What The Eff?" Wednesday: Vulva Original
I’m really into fragrances, so any headlines about new scents catch my eye. The word ‘vulva’ usually makes me do a double-take as well. The combination between the two…well…I can only say What the Eff? to that. “Vulva Original” and its extension scents “Vulva 18” (I think that means young coochie) and “Vulva Exotic” (I think that means ethnic coochie) were created by a German perfumery called Viva Eros. They promise to “Beguile the senses with the scent of a real vagina.” I’ve spent most of my life making sure I don’t smell like vajayjay when I leave the house and certainly wasn’t thinking about spending 20 euro (about $30) to smell like I don’t wash, but um…Ok…
But then I read the directions: “The phial is shaken gently, only a tiny amount of the precious, organic substance is applied to the back of the hand… and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head . . .VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure. Breath in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odor of a beautiful woman.”
Oh…so its not a perfume? That means its for private male use? Hunh? I don’t under- Ohhhhhhhhh. NOW I get it *wink*.
I love how much they love the word “beguile” and I really need to know who was in charge of designing that logo.
Yeah, that pretty much sums up the situation.