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"What The Eff?" Wednesday: Black Public Access Televison

14 November 2007 14 Comments

I live in Philadelphia where there is no real public access television, otherwise I’m sure I’d have a show by now (speaking of which, what would you think about a Thembi radio podcast? I’m considering it). Since it’s all about YouTube stars these days I thought I’d spend a little time checking out black public access television shows and share the results. By now I’m sure you’ve heard of Alexyss K. Tylor? These folks ain’t got nothin’ on her. Prepare to be disturbed.

This video has been floating around for a while, but I still can’t make sense of it. I can’t tell if this dude is on drugs or just plain crazy or both, but his uber-freaky hair hurts me in a deep untouched part of my blackness. Then again, I’m sure I’d be reading The Bible to some P-Funk while cussing up a storm too if I suddenly found myself trapped on the set of a Tide Mountain Spring commercial.

I genuinely don’t have a problem with any religion and if I did the very last one I’d have a problem with would be one that considers Negroes the chosen people. But I have always had the sense that the Black Israelites are a little thrown off. Can anyone enlighten me? This clip is probably only funny because dude is so mad and crazy sounding. I’m not white, so if you’re a sensitive Caucasian maybe you shouldn’t watch as this dude has the nerve to call white people every ridiculous name under the sun (all without conjugating the verb “to be”) while wearing a Mrs Roper frock and turban.

As much as I would love to believe that anyone with a show called “Flaccid Ego,” must be joking, this pink-turbaned New York psychic is not playing games – with you or anyone! And as poor as the production quality of public access tends to be, why are there numerous videos of him online and he is in the bottom 25% of the frame in every single one? Did I ever think I’d live to see a black man say: “I’m gonna go home, I got me some rum raisin ice cream, I’m gonna eat that, gonna watch a little Golden Girls, listen to a little Evelyn Champagne King, and have a little party wit’ myself”?

Speaking of Golden Girls, have you ever bled from the ears? Ready to start? Note: The shimmery thong.

14 Comments »

  • Nancy said:

    Thembi on Radio! Thembi on Radio!!! I vote YES!

  • AJ said:

    LMBO….these folks need to have their cameras picked up and destroyed.

  • AJ said:

    BTW – I’d love to listen to Thembi on the radio!

  • Qucifer said:

    BWAHHAHA His hair, the cussing, Do you find it Funny biatches!??!? (why, yes I do)

    You know yo ass is due??? Stupid ass bitch??/ is he serious?? (I will try to use this often….. Honestly THIS is why we all gotta avoid having DMX get a church… THIS would be the head deacon)

    BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH The Black Hebrews is what’s up and Technically I qualify to be a Jewess too, Dominicans seem to be the group address to as Simeon as per their “color/nationality ” chart!

    I vote yes on proposition Radio Thembi

  • Dara said:

    I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. thembi you have topped them all with this one! thoughts:

    #1: why does his aggressive preaching and nonsensical backdrop warrant him the need for that yaki straight braided half-head ponytail?

    #2: I love the back-n-forth nature of the black israelite speeches. takes me right back to my broad and olney days – dodging crews of men in metallic purple tassled moomoos to get on the H bus. READ!

    as for the rest of them, i dont even know what to say. where do you find this shit?!?!?

  • Ill Mami said:

    I am crying with laughter right now…

    Things I have learned from your video offering:

    1)Black Israelites like you to not read, but “READ!!!”

    2)Crazy religious people love to be naked and love shiny, sparkly things. They also love your behind and the way it shakes.

    3)The mix of Rum Raisin ice cream, Evelyn Champagne King, Golden Girls and/or 227 reruns together must be more powerful than narcotic present on this here Earth.

    Lord Have Mercy.

  • Regina said:

    Wow, I don’t know what to say… how sad. I saw the first dude via email some time ago, but that second & third mess, was too much. when that fool said I love your behind I had to stop and just shut it off!
    Ridiculous!

  • Anonymous said:

    You ain’t alone, girlie. There’s no public access television out here in the boonies, either. Is there any place in pennsyltucky with public access tv?? We might be able to get it if Comcast didn’t own all the crooked politicians in our state.

    Then again, might be a good thing there is none because some of these crazy arse buzzards out here in the hinterlands pontificate worst than the black israelites. Or, can you imagine one of the Amish telling us how electronics are bad, bad, bad?

    meow.

  • Jippy said:

    thembi, you should start your own religion. i’ll convert.

  • Thembi said:

    I love how you all had enough respect for the man for freshing up his Chapstick before doing a psychic reading not to call him out.

  • Lola Gets said:

    Ok, did you notice that the white chick has the matching glittery bikini top??
    L

  • jamie said:

    thembi…i work 12 hrs a day for three days str8t. i listen to all types of podcasts so hell yeah i want a thembicast!!

    pub access shows are hilarious. alexyss’ mum is funny too!

  • BeautyinBaltimore said:

    Thembi, I thought I would die from listening to the ghetto genie, pure comedy.

  • Ehav Ever said:

    The sad part is that I have met people in NYC like some of those in these videos. I had a few run ins with Hebrew Israelites and boy are they freaky and angry. A group of them stand on Times Square and yell stuff. Once they actually attacked an Ethiopian Israeli girl that was walking by.

    On a lighter note I laughed till I cried at these weirdos. It makes me wonder what are they like on the day to day basis. Do they act this way when they, for example, pay their bills or send their kids to little league? Well, I guess non of them actually send their kids to little league.

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