Lies, Vivica! All Lies!
The folks at O Hell Nawl hipped me to the fraudulence of Vivica Fox’s booking sheet for her recent DUI arrest. If you look closely, it lists her weight at 115 pounds – she didn’t even weigh 115 back when she was on Out All Night! I have no tolerance for such blatant lying and because of her bad cosmetic surgery, drunk driving, and diva delusions, I just have to blow her spot today…
Possible Explanations for the Number 115 on Vivica Fox’s Arrest Report:
1. The combined weight of her weave, phony lips, and implants.
2. The SPF strength she needs to wear to keep her face from melting.
3. Her blood alcohol level (they forgot the decimal point).
4. Her rank in the “Top 120 Sexy Black Actresses” list.
5. The amount of money she still owes 50 Cent.
6. The number of votes she got on Dancing With The Stars.
7. Her real age.
8. The circumference of her lacefront.
9. The number of movies she has been in where she started a sentence with “Girrrrrl, lemme tell you…”
10. The weekly pageview count of her Fan Club Website.
Yeah, I know…kind of mean…and I’m not even in a cranky mood…but if you have any ideas to add please comment…