Lies, Vivica! All Lies!

Home » Celebutainment, Haterade, Spot Blowing, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling

Thembi Ford 7 December 2007 8 Comments

The folks at O Hell Nawl hipped me to the fraudulence of Vivica Fox’s booking sheet for her recent DUI arrest. If you look closely, it lists her weight at 115 pounds – she didn’t even weigh 115 back when she was on Out All Night! I have no tolerance for such blatant lying and because of her bad cosmetic surgery, drunk driving, and diva delusions, I just have to blow her spot today…

Possible Explanations for the Number 115 on Vivica Fox’s Arrest Report:

1. The combined weight of her weave, phony lips, and implants.

2. The SPF strength she needs to wear to keep her face from melting.

3. Her blood alcohol level (they forgot the decimal point).

4. Her rank in the “Top 120 Sexy Black Actresses” list.

5. The amount of money she still owes 50 Cent.

6. The number of votes she got on Dancing With The Stars.

7. Her real age.

8. The circumference of her lacefront.

9. The number of movies she has been in where she started a sentence with “Girrrrrl, lemme tell you…”

10. The weekly pageview count of her Fan Club Website.

Yeah, I know…kind of mean…and I’m not even in a cranky mood…but if you have any ideas to add please comment…

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8 Comments »

Qucifer said:

The other lawyer in this office is ON DA FLO laughing at this shit

With tears in his eyes….. but i maintain that you love making grown men cry

# 7 December 2007 at 8:40 am

Malcolm: said:

Maybe 115 is the dollar amount of her salary for “Kickin’ It Old Skool”.

# 7 December 2007 at 10:40 am

AJ said:

Perhaps the numbers are transposed…..lol…

# 7 December 2007 at 5:27 pm

Chocl8t said:

The amount she recieved for her Cadillac endorsement.

# 8 December 2007 at 10:24 pm

theblackactor.com said:

LMAO off at your post.

Love it.

She played herself. She shoulda known the whole world would know about that lie. LOL

# 9 December 2007 at 12:32 am

Regina said:

115 is the number of times Uma Thurman hit her in Kill Bill!

# 10 December 2007 at 10:13 pm

AverageBro said:

Ok, that was just wrong.

But for the record, her “role” in “Kickin’ It Old School” was probably her best acting EVAR!!!

What? What you say ni@@a? B!tch-slapped!!!!

I am still laughing at that one.

# 13 December 2007 at 4:49 pm

dp said:

Haterade flavor – red, for the blood in your eyes.

# 30 December 2007 at 5:05 am

So what do you think? Please be respectful to other readers!

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THROWBACK POST!!

Police Sketches of Black Dudes

By Thembi Ford on September 26, 2007

Police sketch artist drawings of black people are notoriously poor and rarely look like anyone in particular. I’m convinced that when asked to describe the suspect, witnesses just describe the last black male they saw, even if they last saw a black male on television. So I did a little Thembi-style experiment by going online and digging up dozens of sketches of black suspects to see just who the strong arm of the law is looking for.

Posted in Not Racist Cuz It's True., Our Shame, What the Eff?, Yipes! | 21 Responses

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