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"What The Eff?" Wednesday: For That Guy Who Has Everything…

12 December 2007 7 Comments


I’m not going to get into much blogging this week, but I simply couldn’t let a “What The Eff?” Wednesday pass without bringing you something to be confused about.

With the holiday season upon us, it’s hard to ignore the question “What do you get the person who already has everything?” Personally, every year I say the same thing to myself – “If I could only grant my loved one who has everything the ability to turn their poop into glitter-turds, my holiday shopping would be complete. Sigh.” Well, it looks like my prayers have finally been answered. The Gold Pill, which retails for $425, is a pill dipped in gold and filled with 24 karat gold leaf. Citizen: Citizen explains: “Analogous to our culture’s obsessions with luxury and consumption, these 24K gold leaf capsules turn your innermost parts into chambers of wealth.” Then again, they also sell $265 gold-plated pen caps called “Coke Spoons” and 5 ml perfume tester-sized vials of crude oil called “Crude” for $60 a pop. This is the closest any of us will ever get to being able to put ground diamonds in our scrambled dinosaur eggs, so imagine how great the person who gets this gift from me this year is going to feel when they see that their isht really doesn’t stink! Well, maybe it does, but at least it’s shiny.

7 Comments »

  • donny said:

    i guess every dave chapelle skit has the potential to become reality i.e “it makes my doodie twinkle”

  • Regina said:

    People have wayyy too much time on their hands. who comes up with this crap?!

    Blessings

  • AverageBro said:

    Laugh all you want, but seriously, if you could afford it, who wouldn’t want twinklin’ doo-doo?

  • Marcus Langford Is The Name said:

    I am gonna need folks to do something with themselves instead of finding analgesics and dipping them into gold. What’s next? Platinum Advil!?

    MARCUS LANGFORD

  • Dara said:

    omg you have to send me this…im probably the only person you know that would honestly enjoy this nonsense!

  • Lola Gets said:

    Um, yeah your insides will look like “chambers of wealth”, but whos gonna see them?!
    BOOOOOOO@this idea.

    L

  • dara said:

    it will just be flushing money down the toilet…literally. this is just another example of wasteful spending (no pun intended)

    dara
    jasiri-blog.com

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