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It’s Me Snitches

17 January 2008 21 Comments

*Taps the mic…”Is this thing on?”…*crickets

Today Undercover Black Man, who I know reads but doesn’t comment much, left me a comment that seemed to presume that I may be dead, which, considering he’s taking time off of that Writer’s Strike picket line to do, made me buckle down and finally post. Plus, I’ve been getting crazy spam comments, one of which was maybe 20 pages long. I think that Regina and AJ have probably already made peace with the fact that I’m never coming back after leaving multiple wtf comments. Even friends that I’m in contact with on a daily basis like Shelby are like “So, um, are you just abandoning WWTD altogether?” Since these comments come from a sad place instead of that “Heiffer where you been?” place that I’d expect from the likes of Q or the Oh Hell Nawl kids, I feel the need to explain the reasons for my absence. Oh yes, and in doing so, vent a bit.

Bills, Bills, Bills: How irritated does it make me, as someone with thousands of dollars in ivy league educational debt, that I’m always broke and ornery because of it? Yes, I did make the choice to work at a non-profit and drive a certified Toyota instead of some beater, but still…somehow ‘work’ (such as blogging) that I don’t get paid for seemed unattractive. I’ve never been good with money but I’m not blingin’ out whatsoever! I know that many of you bloggers feel me. And if you’re not still warm and fuzzy about your contribution to the Salvation Army this year, drop me a line about giving to the Feed & Clothe Thembi Fund. We like the kind that jingles but we love the kind that folds.

Onward and Upward: On the path to the paper, I just finished applying to graduate school, which deserved my attention enough that I forced myself to stop blogging, looking at my pageview stats, and even reading other blogs. I’ve also been stockpiling episodes of my favorite shows instead of watching TV, and not paying attention to the news, which is comforting for a while but once that application was in I started to feel dumb for no good reason other than fear of the outside world. Unsurprisingly, the 2500 words required to submit my application were nothing at all like real writing, and just made me kind of sick of the English language.

Cleaning House:
I really have been dealing with the trashiest of dudes. Any man who drinks or smokes just to feel normal, is an SEBD (sorry Xilla, but the proof is in the pudding), swears he’s in love with you while living with another woman, will argue with you in public and lose, won’t leave your apartment for reasons as flimsy as “I think I twisted my ankle”, has a felony on his record, proudly tells you that he “hates Jews because they killed my Lord and Saviour”, forgets that he’s married until its too late (and I mean way too late) and then tries to recruit you as a counselor for the youth program he runs, has little to no education, doesn’t read blogs because “there are just too many words on one page”, is a Nigerian real estate broker (sorry my Nigerian friends, but that has shade all over it from top to bottom) or ANY and ALL combinations of these attributes, has to GO in the ’08. I just don’t know how my game slipped so hard, but I had to take a long hard look at who in the hell left the gate open and close it right quick. That took some time and energy.

Operation Dimepiece: I’m not too cute but I’m not too ugly…I see myself as a solid 6, but since I’m pushing 30, I think this may be my last chance to hit a 9 (10 may be a stretch). So I’m trying to eat right and exercise and go to the dentist and keep myself together, which I admittedly have not been doing to past levels so it all requires some focus. I love my pseudo-boho ‘fro most of the time, but after being asked by some dude at a club “Where’d the good hair one go?” while hanging out with one of my Indian-haired homegirls, I decided it’s time to step it all up. I publicly blame all of the unconditional love from tacksters that’s been in my life pretty consistently, and a good look at the other women they deal with…well…I just don’t know how I became one of THOSE chicks. Privately, I have no one but Thembi to blame.

Sheer Frustration!: There are so many things that I want to talk about that simply cannot be conveyed through the written word. There are things I want to talk about that don’t seem to exist anyplace on the internet so I have no video, no photos, and no proof that they even exist. There are even things that I see on television, such as a woman on People’s Court suing a hair store because they sold her a 14 inch wet n wavy weave when she asked for 16 inches, that I cannot figure out how to transfer from my DVR to this blog. Because of all of this, in combination with the irriating pro-blackness bloggers on my case, the occasional Portuguese spam comment, and Blogger or my internet connection acting up, blogging sometimes drives me crazy. Not insane asylum crazy, but definitely Cynthia McKinney crazy. I don’t need to bring that mess to you people.

Writing Itself: Someone once said “Writing is what I hate the most, so I’m sure I’m doomed to be a writer.” Is blogging even really writing anyway? All I know is that writing is something that I’ve avoided a lot, and since I didn’t think blogging was writing at all it was easy to start. But for people who really crave that feeling of editing a sentence until it’s perfect or conveying exactly what they want to say knowing that the reader will laugh, smile, or cry, it can really be addictive. I’ve finally made peace with my love hate relationship with words. Now that I miss it, I have to say that I love it. It’s one of the handful of things I’m good at and it kind of keeps me sane. So that’s why I’m back.


  • justjudith said:

    welcome back! few are the bloggers i email to find out how they are. so…consider me concerned! glad ur aight. i know sometimes blogging sucks esp when you don’t get paid for it. i know…

  • Regina said:

    aaaahh, see I knew you would be back, Even if just to tell me and AJ to stop coming by and posting!!
    I’m glad you got all of that off your chest, I bet you feel 20 pounds lighter already (we should market blogging as a weight loss gimmick). So the next step is to take it one goal at a time, prioratize and pace yourself. This wont make your problems go away but it will help to keep them in perspective while you work it out.
    Welcome back!
    Peace & Love!

  • Malcolm said:

    Because you were gone for so long, I was starting to think I was going to have to update my blogroll. Sometimes it’s a good idea to step away from things for awhile and come back rejuvenated. Anyway, welcome back.

  • Aaliyah said:

    PRAISE! ’08 wouldn’t be complete without WWTD. clean house, wreck shop, whatev you need to do to achieve all of your fabness. bises!!

  • THE 78' MS. J said:

    Welcome back, happy 2008.

  • THE 78' MS. J said:

    Welcome back, happy 2008.

  • AverageBro said:

    SEBD = Sorry Excuse For ? ?

    Help me out here.

  • felix said:

    hi thembi and happy new year to you.i believe it’ll be sparkling one for you too,peace!

  • shelbyinitalia said:

    yay! betta had ;P

  • Thembi said:

    I’d love to let y’all keep coming up with guesses, but SEBD= Someone Else’s Baby Daddy.

  • Stacy said:

    this is TOO FREAKIN FUNNY!! i did miss your blog girl… i was checking it like every now and again like WTF?! did she quit the blog? glad you’re back! and with another hilarious post no less… LOVE the cleaning house update, ridic :o)

  • intrepidideas said:

    Welcome back. Obviously, you were missed! I see your life has been pretty normal in the past few weeks – (smile) And thanks for educating me on SEBD. That’s a new one for me.

    Happy New Year!

  • Undercover Black Man said:

    Dag, Thembi… now I feel kinda bad for wanting more free entertainment. But let me tell you, you’re hilarious, and you can really write. Welcome back!

  • Qucifer said:

    Yah cause I was about to tell myself By Friday I’m putting a BOLO out for this bitch here!

    *dead* at the trifery in men and life that you are experiencing! Call me if you need someone to start singing Negro Spirituals with you to carry you through the struggle!

  • AJ said:

    Gurl…I’m so glad your back. I thought you’d run off to Bora Bora with Eddie and Tracey.

  • jjbrock said:

    Thembi welcome back. I stumble upon your blog some months ago then nothing, I am glad that you have return.


    Thembi–my boo boo!! welcome back!! when i saw your message, i did a double take! I couldn’t believe u were back!
    As per usual- EXCELLENT POST!
    I’m glad u’ve decided to clean house..leave the drama and baggage in 2007!

  • Lola Gets said:

    I am soooo happy youre back! I finally got a blogroll and put you in it, and I would click on your blog every day, just to check if you had returned, and today, I finally see that you have! Yea!


  • Kim said:

    Hi Thembi and welcome back. I just stumbled on your blog a few months ago and instantly became addicted. Glad to hear you are cleaning house and getting your education on! I understand the weight struggle. I had a beautiful baby girl 20 months ago and I’m still fighting the fat. You can do it! Also, don’t change a thing about your HAIR. If that is your picture I’ve seen when you respond to comments, its gorgeous and thick! Don’t become a slave to the relaxer (like me). I would love to chop it all off and be free! Plus the money I would save at the hairdresser would probably put my little mama through college. But I fear what my head really looks like without it. Plus I’m sure my husband would probably die. India Arie said it best “I am not my hair”. Love that song! Anyway, glad to see your back!

  • Ginneh said:

    Where’d the good hair one go?

  • otilia said:

    i love the sentence about closing the gate!! so glad you are still writing this.

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