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I Just Don’t Baguette This One.

14 April 2008 8 Comments

Man Accused Of Trying To Sell ‘Bread-Ball’ Crack At Nursing Home

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A 22-year-old man is accused of balling up pieces of bread and trying to sell them as crack cocaine to senior citizens in a Florida nursing home. Investigators said Hillmon Arnold tried to sell the fake cocaine at the Golden Retreat Center on Moncrief Road.

“He was trying to sell these pieces of crack for $5 apiece to these elderly citizens and, clearly, trying to take advantage of them because he knew they received their checks on the 10th of every month,” JSO spokeswoman Melissa Bujeda said.

Even though what he was selling was not an illegal substance, he was still breaking a law: sale/manufacture/delivery or possession of a counterfeit control substance — a third-degree felony.

In addition to the counterfeit drug charge, Arnold was also charged with resisting arrest without violence. He was booked into the Duval County jail and held on $52,500 bond.

Thembi Says: This news item really puzzles me. You see, I’ve been balling up bread for most of my life (I dunno, call it a fat kid thing) and never once have I thought that it looked like crack. However, if I were elderly with poor vision I might believe that it COULD be crack. In fact, if I were elderly AND a crackhead I may believe that any old thing that fit in my pipe were crack. Now, from Hillmon’s side this is even more troubling. If I were trying to sell fake crack so that I could get me some real crack, I’d feel SO ridiculous catching a felony over it and STILL having no crack to show for my little stunt. FURTHERMORE, it looks like people really BE doctoring up some fake crack, but making it out of bread? What was he, high as hell watching Hansel & Gretel? Has it really come to this?

8 Comments »

  • Aaliyah said:

    this is so out of control.
    did he ball up the bread and let it get moldy with white fuzz?
    or roll it around in flour?
    WTF for real!

  • Aaliyah said:

    second thought. and possibly more disturbing – why is there a black octogenarian crack market? random.

  • KelleBelle said:

    Thank you Aaliyah! Why is there? And how did Hillmon get privy to it? I’d really like to see his books to see how many sales he did (clearly he is a sophisticated bid-ness man and keeps record of his wonder-bread crack ball sales).

    ps: I totally rolled up bread too! Fat kids unite!

  • Qucifer said:

    I was gonna say: is the post tag Our shame in regards to all these old ass folk doing crack? or his stupidity?

  • Thembi said:

    @Q
    I just don’t know…

  • LaJane Galt said:

    I didn’t know old folks had the strength for crack…

    As for this guy, is it too late for a 70th trimester abortion?

  • Dare said:

    “…Baguette this one” Ha! This is why I love you, Thembi. Pure genius!

  • blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said:

    You are kidding?!

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