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25 April 2008 8 Comments

“I was at Rite Aid and this dude said to his friend ‘Fam you wanna get that? Its on sale.’ talking about some Blistex. His friend was like ‘Man, im from the hood, dog, if my lips gonna be white, they gonna be white!’ That comment concerned me.

What Would Thembi Do?”

– “That Dude” Phil

Ashiness is one of the larger problems plaguing the black community and many of us, as we tend to do with the political process, have slipped into a state of despair. Why moisturize when the ash will return tomorrow? This is the same sort of thinking that runs through the heads of postal workers while contemplating shooting sprees and it must be stopped. While it is frustrating to have a daily To-Do list with the standing items “Don’t get shot by the cops,” “Break through the glass ceiling,” and “Eliminate all ash from my body,” such is our lot in life. Black folks alone set the bar for what level and type of ash is socially acceptable, and I propose that we set that bar at “next-to-zero ash.” In this particular case, I’d have to use my feminine wiles to plant the seed of change by saying something like “But you don’t want to cut your girl with your lips when you kiss her, do you? That is, if you have a girl (insert doe-eyed look here)…” Even if this response doesn’t snag me a new jump-off, at least it might get this young brother to consider the many benefits of an ash-free life.


  • hottnikz said:

    Carmex and Blistex & Vaseline are all cheap solutions to ash, when will some black people realize this?

  • dara said:

    i can’t stand ashy lips! my chapstick is always within arm’s reach.

    btw, i mention this in a meme…and i tagged you.

  • Qucifer said:

    BWaHAHAHaHhaha ashy skin condition is not a joke, is a serious problem and one that must be attended to… on the daily

  • Ehav Ever said:

    Would you say that there is a state of emergency in this matter? I once proposed to Invisible Woman, when she had pictures of Rodman’s, Yoba’s, and Gary Coleman’s ashyness that there may be need for a missile defense system with a lotion payload system. Maybe this system needs to become a reality. Go to def con 5.

  • Lola Gets said:

    “Even if this response doesn’t snag me a new jump-off…”

    Ok that line was too funny!
    I once dated a guy whose lips were ashy and so chapped that they could have sliced raw meat! I would complain to him, and he would say “I just dont see the point: You put stuff on and it just goes away.” I would tell him that the product was ABSORBED into your dry ass lips, and that if he wanted me to keep kissing them, then he needed to shape up. Needless to say, that relationship didnt “work out.” After we broke up, however, he DID listen to other womens grooming tips, and now has smooth and moist skin.

    I know Im blogging here, but I just realized something…men dont listen to my grooming tips! WTF? The Handsome One doesnt believe me when I tell him that its better to put lotion on while the skin is still damp from a shower: Hed rather spend 20 minutes rubbing that shit into his dry skin! What? Is it me??

    Damn, I think it is. Hmpf.


  • LaJane Galt said:

    ‘Man, im from the hood, dog, if my lips gonna be white, they gonna be white!

    Gentrification is no joke!

    If you can’t spring for Blistex, try that can of Crisco by your mama’s stove.

  • Qucifer said:

    Im mad the triumvirate of ashiness got invoked though (Yoba, Coleman, Rodman) people shouldn’t be talking about that stuff unless they are ready for bad stuff to happen

  • Ginneh Akbar said:

    Funny this should come up. I was with a client today, a little boy around 6 or 7. His skin was supposed to be brown, but had days and days worth of ash caked upon more ash. I gave him some lotion for his ashy lil elbows and made him squirt and squirt and rub it in until he was the right shade of brown again. All of my co-workers (racially mixed group) looked at me shocked and disgusted. I don’t understand?!?! Was I supposed to let the little boy go around the rest of the day with his arms looking like asphalt? I know kids shouldn’t learn about ash in the street but damn, I was just trying to help him out.

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