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"This Doesn’t Cut The Mustard!"

5 August 2008 8 Comments

JACKSONVILLE, FL — An unhappy Subway customer called 911 not once, but twice to complain to police that his sandwich was not made to his liking.

Reginald Peterson called the Jacksonville Sheriffs Office in hopes that police could have his sandwich made to his satisfaction. A short time later, Peterson contacted JSO again to complain that police still had not shown up.

When police did arrive Peterson told the officer he had ordered two sandwiches, checked out, and then walked outside to find the subs did not have “everything” he ordered. He told police he became “very upset” and “belligerent” because the employee making the sandwich was not doing it correctly.

Witnesses inside the store say Peterson eventually started screaming at everyone inside. When Peterson went outside to call police. Employees closed the store and locked the door to keep him from returning.

According to the report, the officer tried to calm Petterson and explain to him the proper way to use 911, but he would not cooperate. Peterson was arrested and at his request the sandwiches were thrown away.

Thembi Says: Oh no he didn’t! I hate to pick on black folks, or Floridians, or even sandwich-lovers for that matter, but Reggie, you need to be called out. It’s hard enough to get the police to answer our cries for help when we sound black on the phone, but then you have to cry wolf over some sandwich toppings? I’ve totally been in this quandary before – I asked for no oil and got oil, they left off the pickles, they gave me roasted peppers instead of hot peppers – but this is NOT the way to remedy a messed up hoagie. This is EXACTLY the type of thing that makes people go “Sigh…The Negroes.” Times are tough but when it comes to $12.00 worth of takeout it is not worth it to call 911. This is the sort of thing that makes the rest of America believe that oily sandwiches are among the greatest issues plaguing the black community; at this rate I’ll never get my reparations check. But at least it wasn’t chicken. Full audio of the 911 calls can be found here. It deserves a listen.

From The Smoking Gun, First Coast News


  • Anonymous said:

    Did you read this? Any thoughts? http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/08/04/080804fa_fact_sanneh

  • Tina said:

    Methinks this fellow has mental issues…and needs prozac more than a court date.

  • phx said:

    Our entire society is making an art form out of being personally offended. Why am I so damn happy?

  • blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said:

    Hey Thembi!

    This is just TOOOO much….and I thought my sister was tripping when we were kids and she called the police to kill a spider in her bedroom because our parents were out at a dinner party and my brother told her to just ignore it and go to bed!!!*LOL*

    Yes….the police showed up…and yes…they killed the spider!


  • Jazzy said:

    I agree with Tina too many of our people are suffering from mental disease and are unaware because of the stigma associated with being crazy. Anyway I know I probably should not say this being from Texas and all but damn the man is from Floriduh.

  • Anonymous said:

    hahahaha… when I first heard the story (with no picture of Mr Peterson) I just assumed he was white — who else would feel so privileged that he’d believe the police exist to fix his sandwich?

    Black or white, mental problems are strongly likely…

  • Woltz said:

    “at least it wasn’t chicken” says poor unsuspecting thembi.

    I see your Subway and raise you a KFC/Popeye’s mix…


    PORTLAND, Oregon (AP) — A New York man who pleaded guilty to murder in Oregon in exchange for buckets of fried chicken will get calzones and pizza to go with his life sentence.

    Tremane Durham agreed to plead guilty to murder — but only if he got a break from jail food.

    Tremayne Durham, 33, of New York City, admitted last month that he fatally shot Adam Calbreath, 39, of Gresham, in June 2006. Durham wanted to sell ice cream and ordered an $18,000 truck from an Oregon company. He later changed his mind, but the company wouldn’t provide a refund.

    The would-be ice cream man came to Oregon and killed Calbreath, a former employee of the company, while looking for its owner, authorities said.

    Durham agreed to plead guilty to murder — but only if he could get a break from jail food. The judge agreed and granted Durham a feast of KFC chicken, Popeye’s chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream.

    After Wednesday’s sentencing, Durham was to get the rest of the deal — calzones, lasagna, pizza and ice cream, his defense attorney confirmed. They will pay the tab.

    Durham also got married Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the Portland courthouse. The wedding to Vanessa Davis, 48, also of New York City, was not part of the plea deal that will give Durham a chance for parole after 30 years.

    Deputy District Attorney Josh Lamborn said Multnomah County Judge Eric Bergstrom made the right call in allowing the unusual plea agreement because it saved the expense of a trial and possible appeals.

  • jazzfan360 said:

    Thembi, I want you to know I was on the phone with a friend when I came across this and I laughed harder at this entry than I’ve laughed in weeks. I’m talkin crumpled in the corner useless, breathless, SOBBING into the phone…it was a damned shame. I was a mess. One of those laughs where my friend couldn’t even understand what I was laughing about and she was crying JUST because I was crying. And THEN I realized there was also audio. Oh man, I was TOO done. Good, GOOD laugh. That man is ka-razy.

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