“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Why I Hate Renting
I’ve been living in the same apartment in West Philadelphia for eighteen months now. Having my own place was great at first, but then I started to notice how wack this building really is. Between the groveling black man upstairs who stole my Jet magazine one week and an insect infestation of biblical proportions another week, I started the summer in my one bedroom apartment seriously considering other options. Just this week the ghetto household on the corner was responsible for three neighborhood no-no’s: a domestic disturbance (“Go ahead and call the cops nigger! You on parole anyway! See what they say to you when they get here!”), waking up the whole block by blasting Teddy Pendergrass at 9:00 AM on Sunday, and having a perpetual yard sale of sorts by putting all of their belongings on the street and hanging clothes from a fence while the parolee sits on a Bowflex machine working out all day monitoring the goods. I even ran into my whirlwind disaster of a jumpoff from earlier this summer on the street (he didn’t notice me but I’m also not worried that he read my earlier post about him since he made it clear that he “don’t use the onlines that much”). And let’s not forget about that tomato I found at the local market. Ignoring all of the clear signs that it’s time for Thembi to relocate, I’ve still been procrastinating on finding a new spot. That is, until today, when I noticed some new trash cans by the side of the building. When I got inside, I saw that my ambiguously ethnic landlord, who only comes by to get his mail and never follows through on repairs, posted this notice in the foyer:

This man owns a building and I don’t. I guess I’ll be giving that 30 days notice now.


NO he DIDNT type that mess up.
ohh…recycling BINS LMAO
thembi i hate u
Did this fool actually type “ATTANATON TEDENEST” and expect somebody to know what the hell that meant? This is crazier than my local Chinese food shop menu.
Girl, move!
don’t move too far away from me!
ATTANATON TEDENEST
This reads like an Imperial edict come down from Augustus Caesar to the people of the province of Hispania that their impudence regarding their payment of Roman taxes will not be tolerated any further,
My line of work is editing so you can imagine how badly it hurt to read that sign.
These comments are killing me.
But your situation is killing me more!
That sign… man… no. Take it back.
BENZ??? Stop it, sir. Stop it. (Please go write that on the sign with a marker).
I had to read it 12 times to figure out what the hell that even said.
He got Thank You right.
Even funnier yet is the fact that when I left this morning someone apparently took mercy on him and had taken the sign down.
Thembi, I feel your pain. I’ve been living in Mt. Airy with the worst neighbors ever. At least my landlord can spell and she’s clearly Black.
West Philly is full of racially ambiguous landlords, though LOL
[...] the sign above suggests. That is the sign on the outside of the bathroom at the Mercer Mall store. Once again, someone has taken the time to type a ridiculous passive aggressive notice filled with errors and [...]
[...] current landlord (who could never be worse than my last one), keeps trying to out-think me regarding the mouse problem in this apartment. I’ve seen these [...]
Did you move yet?
You should consider Francisville. All the cool kids are moving there.
Seriously, it’s a nice neighborhood. You should check it out.
So what do you think? Please be respectful to other readers!
Thembi All Up And Through These Internets!
Find More Thembi at…
Metro Philadelphia
The Smoking Section
Crossfaded Bacon
Diversity Ink
The Tribe Has Spoken!
I can't. I won't.
"All up in the interweb" that's my new signature. Surprisingly and eerily catchy, though.
@ tsboddy... it reminds me of this...u and me are i2i ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veyOvG7nYJE check it at the 4:18 mark trololo trolol i see ...
No.
@Light skinned dude As I said before, this is a reading comprehension issue. My writing is satirical social commentary. I discuss ...
[...] This Week’s Love/Hate Relationship With Black Pop Culture [What Would Thembi Do] [...]
When you state things like "light skinned men" are out of style it can be construed as a put down. ...
*record scratches* CARTOON NETWORK??? Are you kidding me?!?!
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THROWBACK POST!!
"What The Eff?" Wednesday: Bad Church Sangin’
By Thembi Ford on July 30, 2008
Have you ever noticed how no one wants to say anything bad about a singer if they’re singing about God? Well, I refuse follow that rule. Don’t get me wrong – acting crazy on some God stuff is one of our constitutional rights, and I support everyone’s freedom of choice in worship. But since I don’t belong to any particular religious faith and I could only ever believe in a higher power that allows me to think critically about the nonsense that I come across, I put together this “What The Eff?”-worthy collection of really bad church sangin’. Don’t feel…
Posted in Long Live the Colored Race!, Our Shame, Random Nostalgia, What the Eff?, White People Is Funny. | 10 Responses
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It should go without saying, but the opinions expressed here belong to the author and the author alone, and are not necessarily shared with any other guest author on this site or any group or organization of which I may be a member. This site contains copy written material whose use may or may not have been authorized by its legal owner but is intended to facilitate commentary, conversation, and sassiness, constituting fair use as outlined by copyright law. I don't have much money so please don't sue a sister. WWTD work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License
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