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Least. Cuddly. Teddy Bear. EVAR.

28 January 2009 3 Comments

‘Teddy Bear’ faces federal charges

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 | 9:30 AM
Tedddy Bear Paradise

The FBI filed federal charges this week against a Durham woman for allegedly threatening to kill her probation officer.

In a criminal complaint filed with the United States District Court, federal investigators say Teddy Bear Paradise told witnesses that “they would have to clean up all the blood in the parking lot.”

The complaint also says that Paradise has continued to threaten the woman despite having her parole repeatedly revoked.

Paradise apparently has a history of threatening people. She was convicted in California in 2005 of mailing threatening letters. The parole officer she’s now charged with threatening supervised her right after her release.

FBI agent Michael Sutton writes in the affidavit that Paradise repeatedly sent inappropriate letters and voice mails to the officer, and even told her “I could have shot or stabbed you,” when she met her in the lobby of the parole office.

Sutton said that the latest incident was on January 5 in a VA hospital emergency room where Paradise began throwing chairs, knocking over trash cans, and again threatened the parole officer.

According to the affidavit, doctors say Paradise has a borderline personality disorder, but does not currently have any active psychiatric illness.

Paradise is being held in the Durham County Jail without bond.

Thembi Says: Teddy Bear Paradise? I have never been as happy to use the “at least they’re not black” category as right now, for a wild white woman with a name that would qualify her as the Most Ghetto of All Ghetto Negroes ever if only she were black. I have a few questions. First, is her given name really Teddy Bear or did she change it to that? If so, why would she choose Teddy Bear when she looks like anything but the cuddly stuffed animal that many children need to fall asleep at night? Why didn’t she change her name to Grisly Gremlin, Prickly Pear, or Hot Mess  O’White Trash? Secondly, if Teddy Bear is her given name, why did her parents pair a name like that with the last name Paradise? Didn’t they just set her up for unavoidable failure in a way that could only lead to a crash and burn of epic proportions? This broad is not playing with ANYBODY so if I were her parole officer I’d be rocking the bulletproof vest, FBI agent or no.

3 Comments »

  • The78MsJ said:

    Hot Mess Crazy O’White Trash I vote for that one right there so accurate the rub is some where a black man is like damn I want to hold her down she a ride or die chick for real (le sigh) love the new revamped look it’s stellar.

  • Phil said:

    She’s got such a natural, permanent frown.

  • jazzfan360 said:

    BAHAHAHAHA Prickly Pear.

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