Last year I fully participated in April Fool’s Day and played a nice little joke on you all. This year, April Fool’s Day has me totally confused and on the defensive – I can’t tell what aspects of life have been a building April Fool’s Day joke and what is real in this crazy life. My top five:
1. As of today, I am officially unemployed. The recession makes me no nevermind because my severance and the state do take care of things; I wanted to get laid of like nobody’s business and am so happy that I feel like an anvil must be about to drop on my head any minute. Once I get used to it I’m sure I’ll have lots more to say about the overwhelming sense of freedom that comes with not being trapped in a cubicle all day and having the time to pursue my passions, but for now I’m kind of side-eying the process because it’s almost too good to be true!
2. So wait…Fast and Furious starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker is coming out this Friday. The Fast and The Furious starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker came out in 2001. So basically if you take the word “the” out of the title you can just use it again eight years later? Is Hollywood just that lazy or are they waiting for someone to “spot the error”?
3. There was a mouse in my apartment and I caught it, but now I keep hearing rustling under my bed. It is not funny. There’s no food under there so I know there can’t be a mouse living in there too…My apartment is only but so big and I cannot take this kind of pressure. Are one of you playing some sort of boogeyman joke on me? NOT COOL.
4. Devante brings so much traffic to this site, so some Devante-defender was bound to contribute a farcical comment like this one at some point, but I’m suspicious because it was so close to April Fool’s Day that it must be a joke: “All yall are so dumb and the thambi u even dumber. ” I really may just have to start calling myself “The Thambi.” Kind of like “The Bidness,” or “The Diabetus.”
5. My downstairs neighbor has my shirt. I won’t elaborate on how he got it, nor will I delve into the myriad of reasons why the longer he keeps the more problems may be caused. I just know that the fact that he’s had it for over a week must be some type of joke. Another neighbor continues to get NRA and other gun magazines delivered here, and the third knocked on my door the other day to ask if he was dressed appropriately for a threesome with a guy and a girl. STOP. PLAYING.
For your April Fool’s Day enjoyment, a collection of links: