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Camel Towing

30 April 2009 10 Comments

cameltowingrevised

The first time I heard the term “camel toe,” I was so perplexed and offended. It sounds like an immature, misogynistic way to describe the female anatomy. Then I realized that it’s just a tacky wedgie in the front. Ohhhh. That’s your own darn fault. Ever since I realized that “camel toe” was less juvenile and more a mere concern of tacky women, I’ve been subconsciously gathering humorous tidbits about camel toe. Today I realized that I have enough for a full post, how skeevy is that? And why am I writing about this at all? I just don’t know.

scouting-for-camel-toads

As usual, even if I’m late on the uptake I like to mock those who are even later. As to this kid, its freaky to think that there are men who go on the hunt for camel toes. I mean you have to be a pretty foul tacky slice of meat to let your stuff flap in the wind like that. Unless, of course, you’re trying to prove a point.

camel_toe_cup1

I alluded to the phenomenon in a post about my trip to Doha, Qatar. There I was surrounded by sand in all directions for miles in the desert of the Persian Gulf and the first thing I did when I rode that camel was look at its toe to see if it looked like Britney Spears’ crotch on a rough night.

camels

It did but only kinda. However, being all up on real camels (1)confirmed the fact that Jay-Z really does resemble one and (2)made me wonder why the camel was chosen as the animal whose foot would represent tight pants gone awry.

I even remember laughing at the kitsch hit “Camel Toe” (which was one of those songs that really should have never come out at all) by that flash-in-the-pan group Fannypack. Maybe it’s because I was living in their hometown of Brooklyn at the time but people were acting like this group was the next big deal. They were not.

I have to be fair and admit the reason I posted this today when I KNOW I’m supposed to be handling other business. It’s because of capitalism in a roundabout way. People come up with inventions and then try to sell them, in order to do so they create websites and then I see them and am forced to show them to you. Don’t you see? In the end, capitalism is to blame for The Cuchini.

cuchini2

Yes, it’s the Cuchini, a nifty little insert that keeps you from having unsightly camel toe. And it’s real, check out the website – I insist, really, it’s a hoot. These bad boys go for $15 bucks a pop and only come in “nude.”

I’ll let you go now. Gold star if you even made it this far, actually.

EDIT: After many requests for a picture of a real camel toe, here y’all sickos go. Ask and ye shall receive!

camel_hoof_6

10 Comments »

  • don fela said:

    that camel toe cup is bananas.

  • Naturally Alise said:

    Too funny! I remember having to awkwardly tell my mama what the term meant….. she died laughing!

  • Luvvie said:

    LMAO! Im mad you got confirmation that JayZ’s a camel doppelganger.

  • LaJane Galt said:

    That cuchini is gravatar worthy.

  • tracy said:

    This was so funny that I had to send to the Ellen Show. I hope it gets you even more exposure! Thanks

  • Lookyhere said:

    I wish this article had a close up pic of a real camel’s toe/hoof.

  • Thembi (author) said:

    @Lookyhere
    You werent the first to suggest that, I just got sick of Googling and coming up with crotch shots!

  • Regina said:

    LOL!! I have no words for this mess!

  • Dara said:

    i love you so much for this/get out of my face you sicko.

  • N.S. Ugezene said:

    What is funny are the guys that say, “Camel toe is sexy.” I couldn’t even slightly open to mumble that.

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