Camel Towing

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Thembi Ford 30 April 2009 10 Comments

The first time I heard the term “camel toe,” I was so perplexed and offended. It sounds like an immature, misogynistic way to describe the female anatomy. Then I realized that it’s just a tacky wedgie in the front. Ohhhh. That’s your own darn fault. Ever since I realized that “camel toe” was less juvenile and more a mere concern of tacky women, I’ve been subconsciously gathering humorous tidbits about camel toe. Today I realized that I have enough for a full post, how skeevy is that? And why am I writing about this at all? I just don’t know.

As usual, even if I’m late on the uptake I like to mock those who are even later. As to this kid, its freaky to think that there are men who go on the hunt for camel toes. I mean you have to be a pretty foul tacky slice of meat to let your stuff flap in the wind like that. Unless, of course, you’re trying to prove a point.

I alluded to the phenomenon in a post about my trip to Doha, Qatar. There I was surrounded by sand in all directions for miles in the desert of the Persian Gulf and the first thing I did when I rode that camel was look at its toe to see if it looked like Britney Spears’ crotch on a rough night.

It did but only kinda. However, being all up on real camels (1)confirmed the fact that Jay-Z really does resemble one and (2)made me wonder why the camel was chosen as the animal whose foot would represent tight pants gone awry.

I even remember laughing at the kitsch hit “Camel Toe” (which was one of those songs that really should have never come out at all) by that flash-in-the-pan group Fannypack. Maybe it’s because I was living in their hometown of Brooklyn at the time but people were acting like this group was the next big deal. They were not.

I have to be fair and admit the reason I posted this today when I KNOW I’m supposed to be handling other business. It’s because of capitalism in a roundabout way. People come up with inventions and then try to sell them, in order to do so they create websites and then I see them and am forced to show them to you. Don’t you see? In the end, capitalism is to blame for The Cuchini.

Yes, it’s the Cuchini, a nifty little insert that keeps you from having unsightly camel toe. And it’s real, check out the website – I insist, really, it’s a hoot. These bad boys go for $15 bucks a pop and only come in “nude.”

I’ll let you go now. Gold star if you even made it this far, actually.

EDIT: After many requests for a picture of a real camel toe, here y’all sickos go. Ask and ye shall receive!

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10 Comments »

don fela said:

that camel toe cup is bananas.

# 1 May 2009 at 12:00 am

Naturally Alise said:

Too funny! I remember having to awkwardly tell my mama what the term meant….. she died laughing!

# 3 May 2009 at 2:58 pm

Luvvie said:

LMAO! Im mad you got confirmation that JayZ’s a camel doppelganger.

# 4 May 2009 at 6:10 pm

LaJane Galt said:

That cuchini is gravatar worthy.

# 6 May 2009 at 2:13 pm

tracy said:

This was so funny that I had to send to the Ellen Show. I hope it gets you even more exposure! Thanks

# 9 May 2009 at 2:44 pm

Lookyhere said:

I wish this article had a close up pic of a real camel’s toe/hoof.

# 11 May 2009 at 9:06 am

Thembi (author) said:

@Lookyhere
You werent the first to suggest that, I just got sick of Googling and coming up with crotch shots!

# 12 May 2009 at 1:18 pm

Regina said:

LOL!! I have no words for this mess!

# 18 May 2009 at 10:16 pm

Dara said:

i love you so much for this/get out of my face you sicko.

# 22 May 2009 at 10:53 am

N.S. Ugezene said:

What is funny are the guys that say, “Camel toe is sexy.” I couldn’t even slightly open to mumble that.

# 19 December 2009 at 12:27 am

So what do you think? Please be respectful to other readers!

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THROWBACK POST!!

Police Sketches of Black Dudes

By Thembi Ford on September 26, 2007

Police sketch artist drawings of black people are notoriously poor and rarely look like anyone in particular. I’m convinced that when asked to describe the suspect, witnesses just describe the last black male they saw, even if they last saw a black male on television. So I did a little Thembi-style experiment by going online and digging up dozens of sketches of black suspects to see just who the strong arm of the law is looking for.

Posted in Not Racist Cuz It's True., Our Shame, What the Eff?, Yipes! | 21 Responses

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