Old School Friday: This Song Should Never Have Been Made!
This week’s theme is creative and disturbing just like I like it. It took me a while to think of old school songs that had no business ever coming out because like any good oldhead I like to pretend that every song that came out before “The Stanky Leg,” and other such nonsense was pure gold. It wasn’t.
I can think of a few good reasons a song shouldn’t be made: crappy and shallow lyrics, a video with NO stylist or wardrobe budget, and a track that sounds just like a song by another more popular artist that was released at the same time. Oh, and a really corny group name. “Tell Me (I’ll Be Around)” by Shades is a 1996 r&B jam guilty on all counts. My seventeen year old self had some nerve singing along to any song talking about some “what car do you drive? how much money do you make?” and this fly-by-night group had even more nerve releasing a song that sounds just like L.L. Cool J’s “Loungin,” regardless of who came up with it first. (both sample “Who Do You Love?” by Bernard Wright). I have to admit that it’s catchy, though.
It takes a lot of hubris to believe that your contribution to the urban slang lexicon is necessary, and Pressha demonstrated said hubris when he released “Splackavellie.” Not only are the expressions “jump off,” and “side jawn,” exponentially preferable to a word that sounds like the name of the school bully on a Nickelodeon sitcom, but the little girl talk session at the start of the video just doesn’t do enough to introduce such a ridiculous word to the world. This video features Shemar Moore and Mari Morrow, reminding us all why light-skinned went out of style.
Something for The People has always been so ridiculous to me and took the cake with “My Love is the SHH!” in 1997. I wish back then I could have known that the male lead of this group would give birth to T-Pain, but above anything else this joint is just embarrassing. You can’t curse on the radio and being slick about it just calls attention to how cheesily raunchy the whole affair is. Strangely enough, I’ve never seen as many homegrown YouTube version of any song as I found when I looked up this one.
Before you go, let me know in the comments some old school songs (before 1999) that you think should never have been made, and I will list links to the videos. So far we have:
SYLK E. FYNE “Romeo & Juliet” – My spell checker is on fire with a name like that.
Lil’ Troy – “Wanna Be A Baller” – Like, are y’all serious?
Check out other OSF Participants!
Electronic Village | Fresh And Fab | Danielle | Kim | Ms Grapevine | Quick|Marcus LANGFORD | Cassandra |iriegal | Mahogany | Hagar’s Daughter | Lisa C| Chocl8t | DP | Dallassouth | John | CC Groovy | Kreative Talk | Marvalus One |Regina | Clnmike | Vivrant Thing | AJ | Sharon | The Creole Pimp | Invisible Woman | Beleiver 1964 | Cooper | SJP | Bria | BklynQueen 86 | Hey Shae | From the Battlefield | Thembi | D Spot | Malcolm | Pop Art Diva | Pjazzypar |MsLadyDeborah