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“What The Eff?” Wednesday?: Gary Coleman’s Head to Body Ratio

26 August 2009 4 Comments

Note: Please excuse my slow posting rate right now as I recover from my semi-annual bout of carpal tunnel syndrome.

Gary Coleman has gradually made his way onto the short list (ha) of people whose behavior I don’t understand. On the one hand, he’s a deliciously quirky pop culture icon responsible for a catch phrase that, if used in the perfect situation, is still funny twenty-five years after its inception (yes, there is a time and a place for a ‘whatchu talkin’ bout Willis…I just haven’t personally observed one recently). On the other, he’s demonstrated violent and aggressive tendencies repeatedly and of course there was that whole homosexual love affair/rap album debacle. Bottom line – this man continues to bring in the paychecks, whether the joke is on us or on him. His most recent venture: Fry Cup Fortune for New York Fries.


Resist the urge to dismiss this advertisement as Photoshop foolishness – we need to consider the possibility that this is really what Gary Coleman looks like now, head askew and propped up on his body. In fact, in a stroke of genius that even Don Draper would envy, the ad agency handling the New York Fries account came up with a coupon-generating Facebook game that accents, not hides, the freakishness of this ad. The conversation in the brainstorming session went something like this:

Ad Exec #1: Wow his head is freaky…how it just sits on his body you know, and the whole mix between childlike and geriatric features he’s got there…

Ad Exec #2: This is the best shot we got, the plaid is very in right now but also retro, and we got his hair to look almost like it did back in the Arnold days. We just need a concept for a Facebook application.

Junior Ad Exec (under his breath): Wow…like…bobblehead…

Ad Exec #1: I’ve got an idea, how about a bobblehead game!


And there you have it – Fry Cup Fortune. I’m not familiar with New York Fries so I can’t tell whether jiggling an even pinter-sized image of Gary Coleman just to get a coupon is worth this traumatization; seeing Gary Coleman with a leathery, larger-than-necessary detachable head brings up childhood fears in that whole Leprechaun/Gremlins/Labyrinth bag – It’s scary to look at stuff that doesn’t jibe with my understanding of a safe reality, and I’m certainly not in the mood for fries.

Get well soon, Gary.

h/t Kiss My Black Ads


  • [fung'ke][blak][chik] said:

    For a second, I thought that was Nipsy Russel! And why does it look like his outfit came from Children’s Place? LOL

  • LaJane Galt said:

    That IS Nipsy Russell.

  • Dara said:

    this is going to sound ign’ant…but…why is he so small if he’s not a little person?…i need some solid answers, here.

  • Thembi (author) said:

    Haha Dara you jerk he has kidney disease that stunted his growth early.

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