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Articles Archive for September 2009

Review »

[29 Sep 2009 | 5 Comments | ]
Brothers: A Black Sitcom Worth Watching While the rest of the country buzzes about whether newspapers are worth saving, my beloved situation comedy is slowly and quietly going the way of the dodo bird. Maybe we're just experiencing the evolution of television, but if it isn't an hour-long drama, reality show, or a workplace comedy without a laugh track, network television just isn't interested lately. Not only that, but for years we've lamented the dearth of black family shows, and finally we have Brothers on Fox - is it any good? Yes. Will it work? Maybe. brothersfox Brothers has some great things on its side, starting with an interesting premise and an intriguing cast. Brothers Michael (Michael Strahan) and Chill (Darryl "Chill" Mitchell) have never really gotten

Dating, What the Eff? »

[23 Sep 2009 | 4 Comments | ]

I’ve been super busy this week with big things happening, but it’s Wednesday so I have to at least give you something to make you go “what the eff?” real quick. It’s times like these that I wish I could …

Politics »

[22 Sep 2009 | 12 Comments | ]

I’ve been trying to stay out of politics lately because the nutty racist underbelly of America (which has always been there) is a special brand of disturbing that makes me want to hibernate until 2012. I can’t look at Glenn …

Old School Fridays »

[18 Sep 2009 | 5 Comments | ]

dmxmugshots

DMX is the most gettin-arrestedest Negro in music, so when I saw the theme "Criminal Minded," he came to mind immediately. It's so easy to make fun of ol' Earl Simmons, or really anyone who's been arrested so many times that even he admits he lost count, but I really feel for the guy. His drug problem, manic depression, and childhood of abuse and foster care create an all-too-common trifecta of risk factors for a life in and out of lockup. Not only that, but DMX is just weird. He barks, stares intensely, says crazy things, and has the most unique baby mama drama - perhaps because he was married at the time, DMX alleged that

Black C-Listers, Long Live the Colored Race!, The Black Archives »

[17 Sep 2009 | 5 Comments | ]
Everyone you've ever heard of died this summer, but so did someone you probably recognize by face but not by name. Zakes Mokae almost fits into the Obscure Black C-Lister category, and sadly instead of a timely post celebrating his career I have to write about him in memoriam after his passing last week.

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Zakes Mokae was the African dude - Father Kani in Cry Freedom, Lettie's South African old flame on A Different World, Dr. Zeko in A Vampire In Brooklyn, and Big Kathy in A Rage In Harlem. Mokae had a recurring role on Oz and guest spots on Law & Order, Monk, and The X-Files. If you saw the extremely creepy Wes Craven movie The Serpent

Black C-Listers, Jacko, Now That's Dancing!, What the Eff? »

[16 Sep 2009 | 4 Comments | ]
“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Brother Franklin brofranklin There are three types of people on online: the kind who have never heard of Brother Franklin, the kind who have only seen him out of the corner of their eye once or twice, and the kind who watch his videos as often as possible just for a pick-me-up. The purpose of this post is to turn you into that last person, and as usual you'll either love me or hate me for it. First a primer: A few months ago a video of a man with a very special feeling about the Lord blazed across the internet. Please note that this video was posted in May, so the "Remember The Time" combination towards the end was completely

Long Live the Colored Race!, Now That's Dancing!, Random Nostalgia, The Black Archives »

[15 Sep 2009 | 2 Comments | ]

Why is it that the older I get the more I sweat Diana Ross? I always thought she was so gorgeous and glamorous but now that I know what a *diva* is I’m in awe of the career she’s had. …

Celebutainment, Coonery, Our Shame, Spot Blowing, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling, We Can't Have Nothin'. »

[15 Sep 2009 | 32 Comments | ]
Tyler Perry And For Colored Girls: Somebody Walked Off Wid Alla (Our) Stuff!

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Getting his hot little hands on Ntozake Shange’s 1975 play “For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf," was coup of the year for Tyler Perry. Not only will he produce and direct the upcoming film version, the King of Coonery will also write the adaptation of what may be the most important work about black female identity ever. Ask any black woman, especially the artsy/moody/self-aware type, about “For Colored Girls…” and she will respond with a wistful look and fond memories. I was Lady in Blue in a high school production and have told more than one sorry dude “insteada being sorry all the time, try being yourself,” quoting the Lady In Red (but playing it off like I came up with it on my own). This is classic material and now we can expect the intentionally stripped-down aesthetic of Shange’s work to be replaced by style choices that only a closeted gay man could make. Even worse, Perry has announced that he’d like to cast the likes of Oprah, Halle Berry, and Beyonce to tackle the play’s issues, which include love, rape, abortion, and relationships. Beyoncé??? Please pass the Xanax.

News, Old Folks Wilin', That Not-So-Fresh Feeling »

[11 Sep 2009 | 7 Comments | ]

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Wife charged with assaulting husband freed on bond

A 71-year-old Enfield woman accused of beating her husband with a frying pan has been released from jail. Rosie Lewis was freed from Halifax County Jail on a $2,500 unsecured bond, Halifax County officials said. “Forty-eight hours (incarceration) is a general rule for any domestic violence charge,” said Lt. Bobby Martin of the Halifax County Sheriff’s Office. “I imagine she was released on an unsecured bond because of her age and health.” Original reports that Lewis would be held until her first court appearance due a state law intended to protect victims of domestic abuse from further violence were incorrect. Lewis was charged with assault with a

At Least They're Not Black..., Yipes! »

[10 Sep 2009 | 11 Comments | ]
Bacon Kid: Precocious Whippersnapper or Redneck in Training?

Do you remember Latarian Milton, the little Milk Dud of a child whose joyriding and desire to “do hoodrat things with his friend,” led to endless headaches for his poor grandmother, Florida law enforcement, and black America as a whole? …

Black Hair Talk, Celebutainment »

[9 Sep 2009 | 9 Comments | ]
Black Hair Talk: Tyra Banks and Her Real Hair

I was as intrigued as the rest of you when Tyra Banks announced that the season premiere of her talk show would involve her taking off the wigs and weaves and showing us her real hair. Something about the description convinced us that, much like the classic gag of someone's wig being snatched off, we'd get to see Tyra bald-headed, peasy, or otherwise looking a little bit off of the beaten path style-wise. What were we thinking? Instead, of course, Tyra's hair without the weave was pretty much what many women get weaves to look like - full, straight, healthy shoulder length tresses that have been cared for by the best stylists using the best products for decades. You got us there, girl!

General »

[4 Sep 2009 | 4 Comments | ]

The phrase “cuddle up,” doesn’t really compute in my mind properly, but thanks to a really overactive imagination the idea of spontaneously falling in love with someone who I thought was just a friend has always resonated with me. Maybe …

Celebutainment, Crime of Fashion, Long Live the Colored Race!, Spot Blowing, Web Stuff »

[3 Sep 2009 | 10 Comments | ]
Chris Brown, His Tie, and The Black Comedic Tradition

I’ve stayed quiet on the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation because the thought of one person beating another person until her mouth fills with blood is not very funny and you know I like to crack myself up. Notice that I did …

Jacko, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling »

[2 Sep 2009 | 9 Comments | ]
Latoya Jackson has always been, and will always be, one of the loopiest women to walk the Earth. She is part of the Jackson family after all, so craziness is her birthright, but she consistently redefines crazy with her own brand of low self-esteem and color issues, nutty declarations and press releases, and of course, the delusions of grandeur that must be necessary for her to have released TEN studio albums. The latest bead in this devil's rosary - "Home," a song paying tribute to Michael Jackson with proceeds going to his favorite charity. I know the woman is grieving and all, but this is just...well...watch for yourself and let's discuss. First of all, since when was Latoya biracial as a child? Her hair never did and

Black Hair Talk, Our Shame, We po' folk., What the Eff? »

[2 Sep 2009 | 11 Comments | ]
“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Ethnic Hair Deodorizer Anyone who's spent a little time in Philadelphia knows that we have a distinctive culture all our own. One of our dirtier little secrets is Jomar. This small chain of stores sells anything you can think of at a deep discount. Sure most of the stuff is off-brand, damaged, really dirty or just fell off of a truck. So what if my father, who is as notorious a bargain hunter as I am, once found a pair of pants there with a mousetrap stuck to them (you know, the glue kind). And even more of a so what if all of the signs and price tags are produced on ink jet printers in a not very glamorous Times New Roman font? There are bargains in there! A friend of mine spotted this very what-the-eff-worthy display at a Jomar in South Philadelphia.

ethnichairdeoderizer As soon as she showed me this I hopped in the car to see for myself. What the eff is "ethnic hair deodorizer" and how can I get my hands on some before they inevitably run out?