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Bacon Kid: Precocious Whippersnapper or Redneck in Training?

10 September 2009 11 Comments

Do you remember Latarian Milton, the little Milk Dud of a child whose joyriding and desire to “do hoodrat things with his friend,” led to endless headaches for his poor grandmother, Florida law enforcement, and black America as a whole? Remember how later this same child physically assaulted his grandmother because she wouldn’t let him have any chicken wings? Let’s not go feeling sorry for ourselves because it took a village to raise such a reckless, grown-acting little black child just yet.

curtisrules

Let’s take a look at Curtis aka “Bacon Kid” who laid down the law for his new mommy on a recent episode of Wife Swap. For a bit of background, check out how Curtis and his family are livin’, and take special note of his obsession with chicken nuggets (I swear, it ALWAYS comes down to chicken with these rotund little bad children! It has to be the hormones).

Now that we’ve established that his parents are freaks, we can view the next clip featuring Joy, the new (black) mommy. When I first watched it I felt like I had been transported to the deep south and was being ordered around by a pint-sized KKK member. There’s certainly something about the way this kid stomps about in overalls and the particular vocabulary he uses while disagreeing with a grown black woman that just has redneck written all over it. Nonetheless, there is something funny about a fat kid whose blood pressure visibly goes up when he is told that he can’t have any bacon. Take a look:

My chubby behind used to pull the little “I’m running away!” move all the time when I was a kid but there is NO way I’d talk to an adult like that, nor would my parents ever stand by while I did so. Precocious childhood tendencies aside, Curtis is WILIN’ over that bacon with the kind of anger that has become so standard for disgruntled white men in America. While we lamented that Latarian Milton was imitating a gangster culture, King Curtis is certainly getting his Glenn Beck on. I find it one part refreshing, two parts disturbing.

What do you think?

11 Comments »

  • Corey said:

    Again, you crack me up. The only thing I could wonder is where did he think he was going with his little packed bag?

  • AverageBro.com said:

    King Curtis needs his Baconator a$$ whipped.

  • Curtis. said:

    Bacon is good for me!

  • Venice said:

    I just started reading your blog and I have to say I really enjoy your posts. Curtis is out of his mind. I did laugh when he said “I’m leaving and won’t return until she is gone”!

  • ListenToLeon said:

    Man…I can’t view any videos over here right now. I CAN’T WAIT to see the video of this kid! He sounds like an angry version of Bobby Hill!

  • NeeseS. said:

    Hmph…Lil’ Curtis isn’t precocious, he’s disrespectful and rude. If it had been a lil black kid everyone’s tounges would have been clacking instead of laughing at this foolishness. And yes I do think he’s a lil’ redneck in training! His father didn’t have one word to say to him when he was mouthing off to a darn grown up. SMH
    I totally second what AverageBro said LOL

  • Rashida said:

    She thinks she’s a smart little girl?????? The hell this kid think he is?
    Parents need to start raising their spawn instead of letting them run wild. SMH

  • Cille said:

    gotta love the “lisning” spelling…so classic

  • Sam said:

    I’m a pretty laid-back cat, but my feelings while I’m watching this kid in action ran the gamut from “aww he thinks he’s a little grown-up” to the first time I’ve ever considered punching a child. This is a prime example of “no home training” and the fact that the parents allow the kid to be disrespectful to an adult doesn’t bode well for his future. I wonder if his folks would have been as hands-off had he mouthed off to a white lady like that…

  • LaJane Galt said:

    Could you imagine Bacon & Latrarian on a play date (i.e., another stolen car).

    Ebony & Ivory meets the The Defiant Ones meets Stir Crazy meets Lethal Weapon meets 48 hours meets Say Say Say

    REALITY SHOW!!!

  • katchin05 said:

    What does he say while he’s packing? He *can’t* have said what I think he said.

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