Home » Celebutainment, Crime of Fashion

Aretha’s New Hat

3 December 2009 18 Comments

Oh, Aretha. I love you for your participation in the phenomenon of black women and hat-wearing. However, I can’t help but think that if it’s cold enough to stick your head through a fur muff, it makes no sense to have your ample breasts exposed while doing so. You’re either cold or you’re hot – which is it? Also, there comes a point where fur just makes big folks look like Jim Henson monsters – say Snuffalupagus or Bluto from Labyrinth. Besides, we don’t want the tabloids to pick up on this and start the rumor that you’ve been eaten by a grizzly bear and insist that they have live photos of it, now do we? Just a thought.

I’d also like to add that we as a society need to stop swaddling ourselves. Between this and the Snuggie I can’t help but think it’s time to seek alternative means of comfort.



  • [fung'ke][blak][chik] said:

    there’s a naked animal in the forest looking for their coat.

  • Ann Brock said:

    I think that’s toooo much.

  • Tafari said:

    I see that the shoes are masked by the poinsettias. As I stated before, them long titties are the real story, they need to be masked as well! Too much of her business is out in the street.

  • Dear Aretha… | afrobella said:

    […] it out here. Because it makes no sense. I’m not gonna say you look like a Jim Henson monster (I’ll leave that to my friend Thembi), but I’ll just say this — we both know you can look amazing and that didn’t […]

  • Alison said:

    it’s too late for the tabloid thing. this pic is all over with the caption – “wild beast gives birth to aretha franklin”, or some such. i want to know – where are her gays?!?! who lets her out of the house looking like that?

  • Thembi Ford (author) said:

    LOL@Alison!! Where ARE her gays???

  • KelleBelle said:

    ALL of that fur and yet approximately a foot and a half of her monster chest is exposed. Can’t be that cold.

  • Soulafrodisiac said:

    When she dropped the red umbrella (for dramatical purposes?), I was on the floor when I noticed what was underneath. I had to beg my father not to haunt me last night, for laughing at his WOMAN.

    I am not able with Ms. Aretha. I really can’t.

  • Britni Danielle said:

    wow. how many chinchillas had to die for that coat/scarf-hat? 100? 1 million?

    I think Aretha does this on purpose (at least i HOPE she does), otherwise she needs to be committed (she is OBVIOUSLY fashionably ill)

  • don said:

    Hmm. An old lady once told me if I had nothing good to say, “Say Nathan.”

  • michelle m. said:

    you know the folk in the choir was talkin’ bout her…

  • MyzDevyneOne said:

    As a dues, paying, bra-wearing member of the the BATC, I DO NOT APPROVE! Sistah Aretha is a charter member, she should know betta!
    And that hat…well, her hats done ever surprise me. I betcha this Christmas she gonna fashion a gift box into some kinda fancy headgear…

  • Brown Recluse said:

    If folks are so worried about how many animals died for her coat, I’d hope they aren’t eating animals. A chinchilla has no more a right to life than a chicken or a cow.

  • EveryVoice said:


    Ok, not directly related to this post, but I think “Wost Celebrity Endorsements” has guest blog potential!

  • regina said:

    LOL!! I can’t believe that you are still downing the snuggie!!!
    I have no words for Aretha! That ish is horrific!
    I have a new OSF spot, check it out when you get a chance!

  • bklyn6 said:

    Yikes. Does it have its own Facebook page yet?

  • Malcolm said:

    This pic is actually an improvement because I have seen shots of Aretha and her titties hanging out that are jaw droppingly horrific.

  • shay-d-lady said:

    you were able to have in entry where you managed to discuss aretha franklin and Labryinth. I love you forever! LOL that was one of my favorite movies as a child

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