What Would Thembi Do? » At Least They’re Not Black…

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: “Philipinas Got Talent” Presents Big Mouth

Thembi Ford — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 13:19:52 +0000

You know those Filipino prisoner dance videos that have been floating around the internet for the past few years? I have Filipino friend who explained them by telling me that her people love to sing and dance and have true reverence for the ability to entertain. Logically speaking then, the Filipino version of the "Got Talent," franchise should be a doozy, right? Meet BM, which stands for Big Mouth. BM actually has a big mouth and big ol' eyes and a Big Bird inspired cape to match. I won't label BM with a gender but s/he has a great voice

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Santo Gold v. Santigold

Thembi Ford — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:02:47 +0000

When recording artist Santogold changed her name to Santigold I wasn't really paying attention. I heard something about there being another artist who already had that name and kept it moving. But did you know that the man behind the name change is a tragically weird infomercial/jeweler/musician from the 1980's? He brought legal action against Santi for infringement, saying that by her use of the name Santogold she was "crushing [his] hopes of continuing his music and acting career." Really? 'Cause I ain't never heard

Bacon Kid: Precocious Whippersnapper or Redneck in Training?

Thembi Ford — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:39:00 +0000

Do you remember Latarian Milton, the little Milk Dud of a child whose joyriding and desire to “do hoodrat things with his friend,” led to endless headaches for his poor grandmother, Florida law enforcement, and black America as…

Odds & Ends

Thembi Ford — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:16:12 +0000

Oh, Google Reader, thank you for the share function and for friends like Mr. Smart Guy who share things with me that no one should see, like this "back boobage/diminished glutes," tragedy posted by Saney Sane over at In Hood Terms. Now I get to share it with you but still pretend that I had nothing to do with spreading it across the Internet. Figuring out this woman's body is a Rubix Cube level endeavor, so good luck.

Meth Will MESS You Up.

Thembi Ford — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:28:42 +0000

Man Shocked While Stealing Electricity, Police Say

BRANCH, Ark. -- A neighbor who lives along South Hopkins Road in Branch called 911 Friday night when a man fell from a power pole near her home. Franklin County deputies said Roy Achterberg may have been trying to steal electricity from the power pole to run to his nearby home.

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Down With Fast Food!

Thembi Ford — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:25:39 +0000

I crave fast food on a regular basis. I'm a big greedy American and have no problem admitting it. In fact, I think that anyone who insists that there isn't a single fast food item they sometimes crave is either a hypocrite, liar, or just in denial. Fast food is kind of like Michael Jackson in that sense; even if you believe that he molested those little boys nearly every person on this earth still at least secretly considers at least one MJ song a timeless jam. When it comes to fast food, Burger King's Whopper has an opiate-like hold over me. I also love Pizza Hut and McDonald's Strawberry Shakes, but I cant let myself have any of them but once a financial quarter because my genes just won't withstand that kind of flagrant fat person eating. For Thembi, having a Value Meal is like pulling the rip chord on my thighs; the next day my clothes will not even fit! Not only that, but I know that the nutritional content is next to none, the industry as a machine is a problematic at best, and I certainly do not trust the employees to keep rat feces, or their own bodily discharge for that matter, out of my meal. Therefore I've decided to boycott all fast food establishments and I hope you'll join me. My reasons?

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Only A Whiteboy

Thembi Ford — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:02:08 +0000

I wasn’t big into the show Jackass but they really had a great concept: put together a bunch of whiteboys and eventually someone will either chose to or be dared to do some ridiculous stunt. This happens among groups of…

Odds & Ends

Thembi Ford — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:21:58 +0000

I’ve had a super busy week but I’ve still been keeping my eyes peeled for all types of things that are in the mix. That and spreading myself around a bit…

I’m moonlighting at The…

Hey Tough Guy…

Thembi Ford — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 20:02:30 +0000

Your tattoo is WACK.

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Least. Cuddly. Teddy Bear. EVAR.

Thembi Ford — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:59:59 +0000

‘Teddy Bear’ faces federal charges

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 | 9:30 AM

DURHAM (WTVD) — The FBI filed federal charges this week against a Durham woman for allegedly threatening to kill her probation

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