Police: ‘Heavy’ Inmate Hid Pot, Tobacco In Folds Of Stomach

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Police have filed additional charges against an inmate who they say tried to hide illegal drugs inside a Northside prison in an unusual way.

Officers said Cedric Webb, 25, was at the Montgomery Correctional Center on the Northside on Friday night when officers searching for contraband told him to lift his shirt.

According to the police report, when Webb raised his shirt, the officer saw two bags…

People have been saying and doing a lot of really stupid stuff around me lately. This post serves to remind all of us what dumb really is.

This cannot be blamed on the gas crisis.

I took this one South Street in Philly. When I told the woman working at the store about the issue she yelled at…

At their best, the police protect us from the dangerous criminal elements in society. At their worst, the police indiscriminately shoot, taser, and beat anyone they’d like. But what about that gray area where Five-0 steals your weed, makes and eats brownies from it, then calls 911 because they’re tripping so hard?…

I’ve been living in the same apartment in West Philadelphia for eighteen months now. Having my own place was great at first, but then I started to notice how wack this building really is. Between the groveling black man upstairs who stole my Jet magazine one week and an insect infestation of biblical proportions another week, I started the summer in my one bedroom apartment seriously considering other options. Just this week the ghetto household on the corner was responsible for three neighborhood no-no’s: a domestic disturbance (“Go ahead and call the cops nigger! You on parole anyway!…

Undercover Black Man, who is my long-lost play cousin, soul mate, or both, discovered a rather damning set of facts about the anagrams that can be made from the letters in Barack Obama’s name. I won’t spoil the surprise, but his quick and nerdy manipulation of the English language actually made me sleepwalk to my computer and attempt a few anagrams of my own. Although lately I’m more likely to favor Scrabble or trivia games, even as a kid I was obsessed with Variety’s Puzzle magazines and TV game shows like Wheel of Fortune. There is something so…

Florida man charged with filming 85-year-old woman for gangsta video

A Florida man is facing elder abuse charges after he allegedly filmed his senile 85-year-old grandmother wearing a ski mask and holding a gun for a “Gangstas and Thugs” street DVD series. Michael Alfinez, 18, was arrested yesterday by Palm Beach sheriff’s deputies, who began their probe after a troubling video was seized earlier this year during a traffic stop.

Alfinez admitted filming his grandmother, Marie Huertas, and placing a ski mask on the senior citizen…

“They need us to manipulate and do the bad shit because we conversate and our colour is friendly with other peoples. This colour” – he traces a loving finger down his cheek – “is friendly with every country. That white colour” – he points at me – “ain’t friendly. The white man be threatening the Indian. The white man be threatening the slaves. The white man be threatening the Australians . . . that face ain’t to be trusted. That’s why Condoleeza does all the…

Remember the movie Car Wash (the 1976 version, not the updated coon-fest from a few years ago)? Do you remember the plotline with the ex-con (played by Bill Duke), who attempts to rob the carwash after losing his job there? Was this guy watching Car Wash on the late night movie when he came up with this idea? And no, its not a typo, his name really is “Leeroy” with 2 Es…what a tragedy of redneckness. The “pop bottle bomber” must be next. Just stupid.

Clearwater burglar…

I was so ready for her to start talking about Mexicans, I’m not sure why.

Nancy, please post a comment with some big vocabulary words and in-depth analysis and repair the tarnished image of the Southern Beauty Queen…

Courtesy of Julian

A friend and I have a long-running private joke involving her giving me the Jet Brothers Swimsuit calendar every year. The men in the calendar are hilariously disturbing enough that I plan to post a few of them in the future, in fact I wouldn’t deprive you of it! But the corniness of the calendar itself, as one would expect from Jet magazine and, furthermore, from anything that uses the word ‘brother’ in its title, is unsurpassed. In spite of its inclusion of uselessly black ‘holidays’ such as the date when Ebony Magazine was founded, calendars are useful things (as are bare-chested men), so I keep the calendar on my wall. At the end of July I glanced at it to get the date to write a check. Because Johnson Publishing likes its paper so shiny the pic is blurry so you have to double-click to view it full size. But can you tell me what’s wrong with this picture?