People always ask me, “Thembi, how do you find this stuff?” Well, this week I’m going to walk you through the process because there is no reason why a perfectly sane woman such as myself should be asking any questions about Corey Johnson. Please bear with me as I take you through the tragically painful journey of discovering all there is to know about this person.

I need for white girls and fellas to stop getting blackgirl haircuts. Cease and desist. Do not pass Go or collect two hundred dollars. In the immortal words of Full House’s Uncle Joey “Cut. It. Out.”

Kate Gosselin, I see you. I hate that you’ve been abandoned by your man and are now the single mother of eight screaming kids (as much as that sounds like a stereotypical black woman’s dilemma). But you’re not doing yourself any favors with that characteristically complicated blackgirl haircut. Why on earth would a white woman do such a thing?

I can barely tell if this is a Public Service Announcement or a commercial, but it definitely rubs me the wrong way. Funny or foul?

I find the eye-bugging, neck-rolling, finger-waving black woman thing (halfway through having a weave sewn-in, no less) extremely tired, but there’s something else bugging me about this commercial and I’m not sure what.

People always call me mean because I laugh at others but the older I get the more entitled I feel to do so. It stands to reason that if what you offer sucks, you should just try harder. There are no gold stars for effort and your heart will not be blessed just because you have no idea how terrible you are at what you’re doing – unless, of course, we can laugh at you while you do it. So today I’m going to give some of the World’s Worst their due – no one may think you’re any good but Thembi thinks you’re great for a laugh so keep on keepin’ on, boo.

World’s Worst Comedian

Just when you thought VHS was dead someone digs up a video of a brother wearing a string tie and smartly-cocked red beret. Meet Darrell Bluett, whose “World of Pictures,” stand up routine is an Internet sensation that you can’t afford to miss.

I guess she epitomizes the phrase “one track mind” (pause).

I hate the internet so very much. Seriously, I start off looking into something that is borderline scholarly and end up finding types of despair that make me realize that I have no business looking on the internet with an empty stomach. I started out at Mental Floss (a nerd site) where I discovered this tickling re-interpretation of the opening credits to Diff’rent Strokes called “Disturbing Strokes.” It’s entertaining to see how much different music can change the intentions of Mr. Drummond. Check it out:

Hi, my name is Thembi and I’m a VH-1 Celebreality Addict.

Every single time I try to be aware of what’s on television but not get all “involved” I fail miserably. It’s not that I don’t love VH-1 and Viacom networks for their constant pursuit of quality entertainment, especially their meticulous and enlightened choices for pop culture commentators (*wink wink), or that I legitimately care about the pseudo-celebrities on these reality shows. But after watching anywhere from a few minutes to a few episodes of any ridiculous reality show – Flava of Love, Charm School, Celebrity…

I don’t usually take the time to throw up scandalous celebrity photos, but since Kriss Kross’s rise to fame is certainly on its decrescendo I simply have to share these recent photos of Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly (who, it should be noted, just celebrated his 30th birthday). The word is that he suffers from alopecia and that’s why his hair is all wiggity wack. No, I have no idea why he doesn’t just shave it off, nor do I know why he’s wearing his pants backwards almost twenty years too late. I really need to get down on

Much in the same way that it’s inappropriate to say negative things about church-sangin’, if someone makes any old haphazard song about departed loved ones we’re supposed to stay mum on how horrible it is. In this case, I flat-out refuse to do so. This video is the pinnacle of hot steaming colored turd-mess. I can’t even say much before you watch it because you’ll think I’m exaggerating; by the end you’ll be offering Bill Cosby sexual favors.

First of all, who told homegirl to buy hair from the Homie The Clown Kanekalon Collection? She looks…

As evidenced by this Philadelphia mural, if there is anyone who deserves major sweatage it’s Patti LaBelle. What makes her freshest is the fact that she has made it her business to do everything under the sun, and in the process has become the woman we all want to be when we grow up by default. Always distinctive, Patti Labelle is the very mold for “the diva.” As lead singer of the group Labelle, Patti broke barriers by dressing in wacky space-age attire