Oh, Google Reader, thank you for the share function and for friends like Mr. Smart Guy who share things with me that no one should see, like this “back boobage/diminished glutes,” tragedy posted by Saney Sane over at In Hood Terms. Now I get to share it with you but still pretend that I had nothing to do with spreading it across the Internet. Figuring out this woman’s body is a Rubix Cube level endeavor, so good luck.

In the traditional sense, bargaining means making a “deal” with a higher power – for example, I’ll be a better person, I’ll trade XYZ, just let me live or bring my loved one back. In this case I’m sure we all agree that we’d ante up a few bucks for the Resurrect Michael Jackson Fund. As far as still-living pop singer currency I’d be willing to put up, say, FIFTYLEVEN Chris Browns and a bucket of R. Kellys for just one Michael Jackson. Since the weight of Michael’s contributions is heavier than most of what we could possibly

I’m Angry at the Media.

I consider myself a McNugget-sized part of the media but the coverage of Michael Jackson’s death and its aftermath has done nothing more for journalism than demonstrate what low standards news outlets will set just to drive viewership. I’m still miffed at CNN for its faux-journalistic integrity on June 25, reporting that “other news outlets say Jackson has died,” but speaking of him in the past tense for hours beforehand while not bothering to have a single reporter at the actual hospital

The entire world was shocked by the premature death of Michael Jackson. Sure, we all knew that the man was under stress. The intense scrutiny at the hands of the media, which was essentially fueled by our own obsession with celebrity, took a visible toll on Michael; the recurring allegations of child abuse and financial debt of an unimaginable magnitude made him even more of a recluse; his varying health problems that were always hard to separate from his general weirdness undoubtedly contributed to his early passing. Still, it’s hard to believe that any combination of these factors could lead to death at age fifty. But we tend to forget that we’re average, and the average person (who, mind you, can only hold a tune in the shower) only worries about the neighborhood busy-body, overdue student loans, and pretty bad allergies every spring. By comparison Michael’s life should be as unimaginable as the science behind evolution or The Big Bang – it’s just too large and far-out a process for our personal experience to let us believe he’s really gone. This, my friends, is why I am choosing not to. That’s right, I’m too sad believing it, so I’ve decided that Michael Jackson isn’t really dead, and I have five supporting reasons.

I’ve always believed that one of the biggest sitcom television bamboozles was the replacement of the original, BROWN, sassy, theater-voiced Aunt Viv with the bland, ALMONDY, acquiescent, merely capable Aunt Viv on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

“Underrated” is one of the more overused words on this blog but I have to fight the good fight and salute ridiculously underrated performers like T’Keyah Crystal Keymah. We know her best from television where she demonstrated her strength in comedic timing and impressions on sitcoms and sketch shows such as In Living Color, Cosby, and That’s So Raven. T’Keyah also has a particular talent for cartoon voices, which has led to her extensive voiceover career (Pinky and The Brain, Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child).

My take on this week in black pop culture!

Is this really necessary, T-Pain? I get so irritated at myself for paying this kind of mess any mind because that’s just what this autotunin’ fool wants, but to spend $410k on an almost-humorously redundant chain without it actually being funny? It may be the struggling writer in me talking but that really fries my rice! I haven’t seen anything this ridiculous in a long minute. Hate.

I guess she epitomizes the phrase “one track mind” (pause).

Five Reasons I Love Stevie Wonder

1. His music and influence has changed the world socially and politically through such songs as “Happy Birthday,” in support of Martin Luther King Day. That song also pretty…

You guy send me so much stuff that it’s time to empty the coffer this week.

This video was submitted by Miriam.
Black folks have officially run out of things to praise the Lord around. They are really breaking…

Black History Month falls into that category of “things I’d like to re-purpose to fit my selfish needs.” The concept of having a month dedicated to any history at all follows the delusional thinking that the rest of the year…

Cops: Hair Weave Stops Bullet

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – A woman was complaining of a headache Thursday morning, but police say her tightly-woven hair weave kept it from being much worse.

Detectives say a bullet, allegedly

…

You may have heard that on Sunday, during a surprise visit to Baghdad, President Bush had a pair of shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist. The shoe thrower shouted “this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people,…

The Premise: The Jericho kids lose their parents in a car accident and the eldest brother, Josh (Ralph Harris) becomes responsible for raising his six siblings (played by Jurnee, Jussie, Jake, Jazz, Jocqui, and Jojo Smollet). Taking the black Party…

One of the most coveted natural talents is the gift of a dictinctive voice, and Loretta Devine’s high-pitched, breathy voice has just that kind of distinction I wish I was born with. She got her start in Broadway musicals, most…