What Would Thembi Do? » Post-racial America my Great Aunt Fanny.

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Racist Passport Rejection Letter

Thembi Ford — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:59:08 +0000

See, I wouldn’t laugh this hard if the reason for rejecting my passport photo had something to do with my skin color, yet somehow because it’s Mr. Li I can’t stop laughing. The way my sense of humor has been…

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Peaches Mask Halloween Costume

Thembi Ford — Wed, 26 May 2010 14:24:39 +0000

Uh, word? This mask is actually called "Peaches Mask African American Woman Halloween Costume Accessory." It's sold by the Amazon store Grim Reaper and produced by a Chicago-based company called Zagone Studios. The Amazon page doesn't explain how to rock Peaches properly, so I did a little but of web searching.

Black Dude vs Bearded Man Bus Fight

Thembi Ford — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:59:22 +0000

Ok, so here's the thing. Actually three things. 1. I like watching people fight. I won't make apologies for my fascination with fisticuffs but I'm not proud of it either. 2. I hate when people actually do fight. Seriously, what's the point? Even my desire to watch a beatdown doesn't trump the display of one of the saddest aspects of the human condition - some people think that violence is the answer. Now watch this video. 3. Bearded old man wearing a fanny pack completely whoops the younger man wearing a flannel shirt and

John Mayer’s Lies and The Brown Nipple Theory

Thembi Ford — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:02:03 +0000

I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me. - John Mayer

Very full of crap is what he is. I never liked John Mayer. He's a sloppy looking guy whose music is the sort they play in nail salons and waiting rooms. While I wasn't paying attention this dude rose from awkward white kid on the adult contemporary

Obama After One Year: We Need A Black Cabinet!

Thembi Ford — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:14:15 +0000

It doesn't seem like most of America is feeling the Hope anymore. Anyone could have predicted the fierce opposition that Obama has faced in office, and sadly he is on track to become a single-term mistake. How can Obama fix this? Well, in addition to the obvious need for progress on his campaign promises - health care, managing our two wars, and reviving the economy - Obama should reach for some low hanging fruit. If he does anything in his four years the least he can

Precious: A Great Film With More Backlash Than Drawbacks

Thembi Ford — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:30:15 +0000

After hearing reviews from Sundance, local film festivals, and showings in one of the original eighteen markets in which it was released during its first week, I was filled with anticipation for Precious. On a basic level, a dark, overweight, disadvantaged heroine is something worth watching (and analyzing), and the implications of a film endorsed via executive producer credit by Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry are so broad that I couldn't stay away. For these reasons, if not just for its stirring quality, I'm glad that I saw Precious.

Sammy Sosa’s Skin Silliness (and Sickness)

Thembi Ford — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:54:44 +0000

Loyal reader Miriam posted a link to the Huffington Post article about Sammy Sosa's drastic skin color change, and added the note: "As far as I'm concerned, this is a Thembi-mergency." Miriam, I am on the case.

This is Sammy Sosa. For those of you who don't know, he's considered one of the greatest baseball players ever. He's of Dominican descent and his home run hitting ability was a source of pride for Latinos until he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs and corking his bat in 2003. Sosa retired earlier this year, and since then seems to be passing the time gettin' purty. That's Sammy in May on the left, and

Thembi’s Guide To Bringing Black Hair To Work

Thembi Ford — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:50:39 +0000

It happens to most black women. Whether you have relaxed or natural hair, a weave, or braids. I'm talking about white people asking questions and making nutty comments about your hair.

If you spend any time in an environment where blacks are in the minority (i.e. if you have a job), then there has to be someone who wants to touch your 'fro, another who asks how long your braids took, and another who innocently inquires about your new weave. The effects of humidity and heat styling on Negro hair are lost to most people, and the difference between a "perm" and a "curly perm" has still not been clarified for the masses.

Racism Fails: Bananas, Birthers, Beck, and Barack

Thembi Ford — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:17:26 +0000

Racism fascinates me because as much as we'd like to believe that anyone who fervently hates another group is simply stupid, that's far from the case. The thinking racist knows that it's useless to be blatantly prejudiced because to successfully push a racist agenda one must be sophisticated, sly, and have a tidy answer for every argument that proves they aren't really racist. For example, it was just a bit tougher to untangle the subtly racist election cycle claim that Barack Obama was "an elitist" than it's been to see that the Birthers movement, with its lack of evidence, just doesn't like black people (or foreigners). Idiot racists don't quite know how to navigate social taboos and instead try to fool everyone with code words and other racism . . .

Black Hair Talk: White Girls With Black Haircuts

Thembi Ford — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:05:53 +0000

I need for white girls and fellas to stop getting blackgirl haircuts. Cease and desist. Do not pass Go or collect two hundred dollars. In the immortal words of Full House's Uncle Joey "Cut. It. Out."

Kate Gosselin, I see you. I hate that you've been abandoned by your man and are now the single mother of eight screaming kids (as much as that sounds like a stereotypical black woman's dilemma). But you're not doing yourself any favors with that characteristically complicated blackgirl haircut. Why on earth would a white woman do such a thing?