What Would Thembi Do? » Spot Blowing

The Years Have Not Been Kind To Coolio

Thembi Ford — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:38:42 +0000

Contrary to your assertions, Coolio, life IS NOT a fantastic voyage of any sort. If you look left to right really fast doesn't it remind you of a vase of wilted flowers?

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Peaches Mask Halloween Costume

Thembi Ford — Wed, 26 May 2010 14:24:39 +0000

Uh, word? This mask is actually called "Peaches Mask African American Woman Halloween Costume Accessory." It's sold by the Amazon store Grim Reaper and produced by a Chicago-based company called Zagone Studios. The Amazon page doesn't explain how to rock Peaches properly, so I did a little but of web searching.

This Week’s Love/Hate Relationship With Black Pop Culture

Thembi Ford — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:47:50 +0000

In case you missed it, Gary Dourdan was involved in a domestic violence situation - and he's the one who got beat up. The actor's girlfriend, Maria Asis del Alamo, was booked on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge after police arrived to their home and found Dourdan covered in scratches. The buzz around this story focuses on the disparity in their sizes and the insinuation that he's a punk for getting beaten by 5'2, ninety pounds soaking wet female. I'd rather chalk this up to the actor's

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Worst Dentist Ever?

Thembi Ford — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:51:35 +0000

Mass. dentist used paper clips in root canals

FALL RIVER, Mass. – A former Massachusetts dentist is accused of placing paper clips instead of stainless steel posts inside the teeth ofroot canal patients while billing Medicaid for the more expensive parts. The state attorney general announced Tuesday that a grand juryindicted former Fall River dentist Michael Clair last week. The charges include assault and battery, larceny, submitting false claims to Medicaid and illegally prescribing drugs. Prosecutors say Clair was suspended by Medicaid in 2002. He allegedly hired other dentists for his clinic and filed claims under

John Mayer’s Lies and The Brown Nipple Theory

Thembi Ford — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:02:03 +0000

I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me. - John Mayer

Very full of crap is what he is. I never liked John Mayer. He's a sloppy looking guy whose music is the sort they play in nail salons and waiting rooms. While I wasn't paying attention this dude rose from awkward white kid on the adult contemporary

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Ten Crazy Christmas Album Covers

Thembi Ford — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:28:11 +0000

Everyone who is anyone has a Christmas album, but in a rush to take advantage of our holiday cheer (i.e. trick us into buying bad music just because its Christmas-y) some artists have to cut corners on the cover art. Here are 10 prime examples of such ridiculousness.

10. "Naughty or Nice" - 3LW

The gall of 3LW to release a Christmas album at all (let alone with only two members, one of which is wearing a Christmas fur bra top)

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Santo Gold v. Santigold

Thembi Ford — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:02:47 +0000

When recording artist Santogold changed her name to Santigold I wasn't really paying attention. I heard something about there being another artist who already had that name and kept it moving. But did you know that the man behind the name change is a tragically weird infomercial/jeweler/musician from the 1980's? He brought legal action against Santi for infringement, saying that by her use of the name Santogold she was "crushing [his] hopes of continuing his music and acting career." Really? 'Cause I ain't never heard

Oh, JJ…

Thembi Ford — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:14:37 +0000

I have to reveal some journalistic laziness on my part. I fully intended to go to the event advertised on this flier but other stuff, like laying in bed watching Special Victims Unit, seemed to have taken precedence.

Who can blame me for dodging the sorrow induced at seeing our beloved Jimmy Walker with his chin wistfully

Sammy Sosa’s Skin Silliness (and Sickness)

Thembi Ford — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:54:44 +0000

Loyal reader Miriam posted a link to the Huffington Post article about Sammy Sosa's drastic skin color change, and added the note: "As far as I'm concerned, this is a Thembi-mergency." Miriam, I am on the case.

This is Sammy Sosa. For those of you who don't know, he's considered one of the greatest baseball players ever. He's of Dominican descent and his home run hitting ability was a source of pride for Latinos until he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs and corking his bat in 2003. Sosa retired earlier this year, and since then seems to be passing the time gettin' purty. That's Sammy in May on the left, and

Tyler Perry And For Colored Girls: Somebody Walked Off Wid Alla (Our) Stuff!

Thembi Ford — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:37:47 +0000

Getting his hot little hands on Ntozake Shange’s 1975 play “For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf," was coup of the year for Tyler Perry. Not only will he produce and direct the upcoming film version, the King of Coonery will also write the adaptation of what may be the most important work about black female identity ever. Ask any black woman, especially the artsy/moody/self-aware type, about “For Colored Girls…” and she will respond with a wistful look and fond memories. I was Lady in Blue in a high school production and have told more than one sorry dude “insteada being sorry all the time, try being yourself,” quoting the Lady In Red (but playing it off like I came up with it on my own). This is classic material and now we can expect the intentionally stripped-down aesthetic of Shange’s work to be replaced by style choices that only a closeted gay man could make. Even worse, Perry has announced that he’d like to cast the likes of Oprah, Halle Berry, and Beyonce to tackle the play’s issues, which include love, rape, abortion, and relationships. Beyoncé??? Please pass the Xanax.