What Would Thembi Do? » That Not-So-Fresh Feeling

Crazy La Toya Jackson Reunites With Bubbles

Thembi Ford — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:34:40 +0000

In what can only be considered continued monkey business on the part of La Toya "Least Talented Jackson" Jackson, Animal Planet arranged a reunion between her and Bubbles and she was all in. Yes a reunion with Michael's boo Bubbles The Chimp. That's why I called it monkey business. Get it?

Aretha Franklin Does It Again.

Thembi Ford — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:39:57 +0000

I am not in the business of disrespecting legends. I swear I'm not. But Aretha Franklin is really starting to try my patience. This is a very grown black lady look - her blonde highlighted wig is tossed to the side and she is wearing it like she's got some business. As usual, her bountiful breasts are howling out less so for R-E-S-P-E-C-T and more for S-U-P-P-O-R-T. I mean, I just

Pimp With “Exquisitely Styled” Hair Sentenced to 18 Years

Thembi Ford — Fri, 21 May 2010 19:38:53 +0000

Jersey City Society Hill pimp is sentenced to 18 years in prison

Society Hill pimp Allen E. Brown got a little testy in court this morning and was sentenced to 18 years in prison by Judge Kevin Callahan in Hudson County Superior Court in Jersey City. Brown, aka Prince, was shocked at the length of the sentence. "18 years?" Brown blurted out in court when Callahan announced the sentence. "This will take you to your 60th birthday until you see the light of day" said Callahan. "The

Regarding Online Dating Ads, St. Patrick’s Day, and Being A Black Lady

Thembi Ford — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:23:24 +0000

The whole online dating thing is beyond out of control. This weekend BlackPeopleMeet.com tried to break fly and use a picture of D'Angelo in a Facebook ad, so I roasted them appropriately and moved on. But then this morning I opened my e-mail to find this:

Direct your gaze to the upper left-hand corner. Did a Black Big Beautiful Women dating site just send me a St. Paddy's Day promotion? Let me explain. A few years ago I did an online dating experiment. I

Why We Can’t Have Nothin’: “Freaknik The Musical” and How I Learned to Wear Sensible Shoes

Thembi Ford — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:48:43 +0000

Of course I’ve never been to Freaknik. Of COURSE not. I didn’t go to an HBCU and it was banned by the time I was of age anyway. What I do know about is Philadelphia’s Greek Picnic. When I was…

Russian Ice Skaters Go Aboriginal…Offensive or Just Lame?

Thembi Ford — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:08:38 +0000

I’m not going to break out a poll for this one. I’m just sharing this image to try and wrap my own head around it because while I don’t consider Australian Aborigines “black,” I watched Spike Lee’s Bamboozled last night, maybe I’m being a little sensitive, and I’d love to hear your opinions.

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Ten Crazy Christmas Album Covers

Thembi Ford — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:28:11 +0000

Everyone who is anyone has a Christmas album, but in a rush to take advantage of our holiday cheer (i.e. trick us into buying bad music just because its Christmas-y) some artists have to cut corners on the cover art. Here are 10 prime examples of such ridiculousness.

10. "Naughty or Nice" - 3LW

The gall of 3LW to release a Christmas album at all (let alone with only two members, one of which is wearing a Christmas fur bra top)

“What The Eff?” Wednesday: Ripples, Rolls, and Rebellion

Thembi Ford — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:46:57 +0000

As a little girl (and for that matter, as a teenager) I was so self-conscious about letting people see me dance. I think it all goes back to fourth grade, when I was in non-optional after-school jazz and tap classes.…

I WILL Fry and Eat Yo’ Goldfish!

Thembi Ford — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:14:04 +0000

Cops: Woman fried, ate goldfish amid fight with ex

PASADENA, Texas — Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them. Pasadena police say it's a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during happier times. Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says the man reported on Saturday that the woman took the goldfish from his apartment. Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some jewelry the man had given her but took back. She wanted the jewelry returned. Officers who were dispatched to the woman's home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate. The woman said

Tyler Perry And For Colored Girls: Somebody Walked Off Wid Alla (Our) Stuff!

Thembi Ford — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:37:47 +0000

Getting his hot little hands on Ntozake Shange’s 1975 play “For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf," was coup of the year for Tyler Perry. Not only will he produce and direct the upcoming film version, the King of Coonery will also write the adaptation of what may be the most important work about black female identity ever. Ask any black woman, especially the artsy/moody/self-aware type, about “For Colored Girls…” and she will respond with a wistful look and fond memories. I was Lady in Blue in a high school production and have told more than one sorry dude “insteada being sorry all the time, try being yourself,” quoting the Lady In Red (but playing it off like I came up with it on my own). This is classic material and now we can expect the intentionally stripped-down aesthetic of Shange’s work to be replaced by style choices that only a closeted gay man could make. Even worse, Perry has announced that he’d like to cast the likes of Oprah, Halle Berry, and Beyonce to tackle the play’s issues, which include love, rape, abortion, and relationships. Beyoncé??? Please pass the Xanax.