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Articles in the We Can’t Have Nothin’. Category

Hip Hop Is Dead., We Can't Have Nothin'., What the Eff? »

[10 Mar 2010 | 7 Comments | ]
I love hip-hop in the way one loves the last few seasons of a television show after it has already jumped the shark. Sure, it's not what it used to be and you're a little disappointed in the direction it's taken, but it's still one of the best things around and you're thankful for all of the good times. Now that hip-hop has gone completely international it's hard not to feel a sense of ownership when it comes to rap music -- I mean, I am a black American from the Northeast and all. This is why I will laugh at anyone

Coonery, My Life, Not Racist Cuz It's True., Our Shame, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling, We Can't Have Nothin'. »

[4 Mar 2010 | 11 Comments | ]
Why We Can’t Have Nothin’: “Freaknik The Musical” and How I Learned to Wear Sensible Shoes

Of course I’ve never been to Freaknik. Of COURSE not. I didn’t go to an HBCU and it was banned by the time I was of age anyway. What I do know about is Philadelphia’s Greek Picnic. When I was …

Crime of Fashion, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling, We Can't Have Nothin'., White People Dancing, White People Is Funny. »

[23 Feb 2010 | 8 Comments | ]
Russian Ice Skaters Go Aboriginal…Offensive or Just Lame? I’m not going to break out a poll for this one. I’m just sharing this image to try and wrap my own head around it because while I don’t consider Australian Aborigines “black,” I watched Spike Lee’s Bamboozled last night, maybe I’m being a little sensitive, and I’d love to hear your opinions.

Celebutainment, Coonery, Our Shame, Spot Blowing, That Not-So-Fresh Feeling, We Can't Have Nothin'. »

[15 Sep 2009 | 32 Comments | ]
Tyler Perry And For Colored Girls: Somebody Walked Off Wid Alla (Our) Stuff!

fcg

Getting his hot little hands on Ntozake Shange’s 1975 play “For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf," was coup of the year for Tyler Perry. Not only will he produce and direct the upcoming film version, the King of Coonery will also write the adaptation of what may be the most important work about black female identity ever. Ask any black woman, especially the artsy/moody/self-aware type, about “For Colored Girls…” and she will respond with a wistful look and fond memories. I was Lady in Blue in a high school production and have told more than one sorry dude “insteada being sorry all the time, try being yourself,” quoting the Lady In Red (but playing it off like I came up with it on my own). This is classic material and now we can expect the intentionally stripped-down aesthetic of Shange’s work to be replaced by style choices that only a closeted gay man could make. Even worse, Perry has announced that he’d like to cast the likes of Oprah, Halle Berry, and Beyonce to tackle the play’s issues, which include love, rape, abortion, and relationships. Beyoncé??? Please pass the Xanax.

Black Hair Talk, Celebutainment, Crime of Fashion, Hair Freaks, Hip Hop Is Dead., Long Live the Colored Race!, Post-racial America my Great Aunt Fanny., We Can't Have Nothin'., White People Is Funny. »

[11 Aug 2009 | 41 Comments | ]
Black Hair Talk: White Girls With Black Haircuts

I need for white girls and fellas to stop getting blackgirl haircuts. Cease and desist. Do not pass Go or collect two hundred dollars. In the immortal words of Full House's Uncle Joey "Cut. It. Out."

kategosselin1

Kate Gosselin, I see you. I hate that you've been abandoned by your man and are now the single mother of eight screaming kids (as much as that sounds like a stereotypical black woman's dilemma). But you're not doing yourself any favors with that characteristically complicated blackgirl haircut. Why on earth would a white woman do such a thing?