Don’t get it twisted – the only criteria for “What The Eff?” Wednesday is that I post something that literally makes you mutter “what the efff?” to yourself. I do it only to be cruel and you know it. That is why you’re going to watch Trololo man, have the tune stuck in your head, and have a mild night terror or two based on this video.

Is it the fact that this man looks like some sort of deviant what makes Trololo scary, or is it the way he seems to be singing from his throat…

Ok, so here’s the thing. Actually three things.

1. I like watching people fight. I won’t make apologies for my fascination with fisticuffs but I’m not proud of it either.

2. I hate when people actually do fight. Seriously, what’s the point? Even my desire to watch a beatdown doesn’t trump the display of one of the saddest aspects of the human condition – some people think that violence is the answer.

Now watch this video.

3. Bearded old man wearing a fanny pack completely whoops the younger man wearing a flannel shirt and

People always ask me, “Thembi, how do you find this stuff?” Well, this week I’m going to walk you through the process because there is no reason why a perfectly sane woman such as myself should be asking any questions about Corey Johnson. Please bear with me as I take you through the tragically painful journey of discovering all there is to know about this person.

I don’t know who all has been anticipating H-Town’s comeback, especially since lead singer Dino died tragically in 2003. Oh, and that when Dino passed, H-Town was actually about to release their FOURTH album since their 1993 debut Fever For Da Flavor (yes, that is the one that had the ever-embarrassing “Knockin’ Da Boots,” on it). Since I don’t remember being excited about albums number two or three, I have to assume that H-Town still has a sturdy fan base that’s waiting to hear some fresh new love-makin’ music from the Houston Boys. But someone decided it would be a…

I don’t have anything to say about this.

I’m spent

Cops: Woman fried, ate goldfish amid fight with ex

PASADENA, Texas — Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them.

Pasadena police say it’s a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during happier times.

Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says the man reported on Saturday that the woman took the goldfish from his apartment.

Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some jewelry the man had given her but took back. She wanted the jewelry returned.

Officers who were dispatched to the woman’s home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate. The woman said

Do you remember Latarian Milton, the little Milk Dud of a child whose joyriding and desire to “do hoodrat things with his friend,” led to endless headaches for his poor grandmother, Florida law enforcement, and black America as a whole? Remember how later this same child physically assaulted his grandmother because she wouldn’t let him have any chicken wings? Let’s not go feeling sorry for ourselves because it took a village to raise such a reckless, grown-acting little black child just yet.

Gary Coleman has gradually made his way onto the short list (ha) of people whose behavior I don’t understand. On the one hand, he’s a deliciously quirky pop culture icon responsible for a catch phrase that, if used in the perfect situation, is still funny twenty-five years after its inception (yes, there is a time and a place for a ‘whatchu talkin’ bout Willis…I just haven’t personally observed one recently). On the other, he’s demonstrated violent and aggressive tendencies repeatedly and of course there was that whole homosexual love affair/rap album debacle. Bottom line – this man continues to bring in the paychecks, whether the joke is on us or on him. His most recent venture: Fry Cup Fortune for New York Fries.

I don’t really use Myspace anymore. I still maintain a profile and log on once in a blue moon and every single time I’m greeted by friend requests from the likes of …

I know exactly what happened here…

Guys . . . you know. . . we’re all having tough times. Pinching pennies, tightening belts, and cutting open tubes of toothpaste for that last brush-worth instead of just tossing them isn’t just thrifty, its mandatory. I’ve been using the same stick of deodorant until the plastic scratches my pits and banging ketchup bottles against the table before I dare open a new one. And yes, I’m rocking last year’s flip-flops. But come on, yo.

Wearing someone else’s flip-flops is not simply a sure road to foot fungus, but its just downright nasty. Times are not tough enough